I Caught Myself a Ninja
by nappyhead
Summary: Sasuke wakes up with a foulmouthed woman. What's he gonna do? Try to not stare of course SasukeOC
1. Chapter 1

sorry guys, the ideas are slowly trickling down the paper for _Parenting Skills part deux_. It's still in my computer I just need a good reason besides ANOTHER love rectangle to post it up.

_Rated M_ for cussing and words such as sex and boobs. There I got it out of the way.

_I don't own Naruto_, my brain doesn't have the capacity to think of something so complicated.

* * *

I Caught Myself A Ninja 

'Ugh' my legs, they're achin'. What the hell was I doing last night? Too much footsies under the table. I can't roll over. Yes, my training was too much last night. I feel heavy. Wait a minute now I remember I went drinking.

Don't tell me...I probably know what happened. I went with a guy, what I usually do when I go drinking, and then take his money after I knocked him out.

Guess this plan backfired or something because there's a hand on my breast and a head on my chest. Forget about the rhyming, no wonder I feel heavy. I finally open my eyes.

The step before panicking is to figure out where the hell you are and how the hell you got there, analyze the situation. I'm in a man's room; I sure as hell don't take them to my place. I wouldn't know where to dump the bodies when I ko'ed them.

I caught a young one, probably around my age, cause I didn't feel no facial hair or any beer belly…Damn, I caught myself a ninja.

I saw his kunai pouch beside my or his pillow. I got up slowly, took his hand off me, and slowly rolled? nope. This one was a clinger, okay, so he was off my chest but now on my stomach. I seriously was naked; I hope I didn't have sex with this guy. Analyze some more I guess. This could take awhile.

Two doors to my left, a closet and window to my right. His room was strangely clean. Maybe he was gay? Or bisexual. I hope I didn't catch anything.

Where are my clothes?

There was my bra on the floor and…this fool broke my bra strap! I soon found the rest of my clothes lying in tatters. He just ripped everything off! What have I gotten myself into?

So far I caught myself a sex-addicted, clothes rippin' ninja. He's probably even an S and M freak. Damn, damn, and double damn!

Okay no time to panic. He's waking up. Be polite, we don't want him turnin' out to be a psycho. I...patted his back and I used the pillow to cover my chest. Couldn't cover my bottom, he was sleeping on me. He slowly pushed himself up and rolled back to sit up.

I pulled the blanket on me and, oh no, he appeared to be naked too! He groaned and combed his hair back now that I noticed was dark blue. He glanced at me and I scooted back from him.

"Who are you? And what did you do to me?" I asked him.

He took another glance at me.

"Uchiha Sasuke, you?"

God, sometimes I hate men. Can they at least pretend something major is happening? His reaction to this situation was getting me a little pissed off.

I didn't know whether to lie to him or not. I could but then again he is a ninja. He would see past the lie. That's one of the reasons why I don't date or try to knock out ninjas.

I had no other options besides acting dumb and I wasn't going to act stupid, "I'm Mitsugi Usagi," I didn't offer him my hand.

He got out of bed; I turned the other way as soon as the blanket stopped covering his waist, and started picking up his clothes. I would take a peek at his back now and then. You could tell he worked out. Strong muscular back...What? I can look when he's not looking at me right? Just taking in the sight before I find the bad thing about it. He tossed my clothes at me.

"Um, I can't wear these anymore. Somehow they got ripped," I held up my shirt that looked to be ripped apart by his kunai and my really good pair of undies that I liked ripped at the seams.

Oh yes, who else could've done it? I'm blaming all of this entirely on him.

He finally put some pants on him. He crossed over to his closet and got out some of his clothes. Looked like he doesn't shop too much. They were all the same. He walked back to me and handed them to me personally. I didn't mind if he threw or tossed them at me. As long as I didn't have to see him shirtless some more.

"Thanks, can you uh leave the room?"

He left without a word and entered the bathroom. I got up quickly and immediately fell with a thump. I used the bed as support and sat down again. My legs seriously weren't working. Like running 10 miles and doing an extra one, over-working legs that you might collapse cause your legs were so tired.

His shirt with the high collar was really large. At least it wasn't small where everyone could see my chest. I looked in his bedside drawer and found what I've been looking for. Wraps to bind my chest. Ah don't look, they're an okay average size for a lady like me. I usually bind them up if I'm going to go and fight but I guess they will serve their purpose as a make shift binding bra. Now I look more like a man, ha. I rolled the short pants up.

There we go, this is as manliest that I could get. The Uchiha guy came out of the bathroom. He looked more serious now. The silence was killing me when he just started staring at me.

"Guess you can't remember last night either," I said casually.

"No."

"I don't know if we did it or not," his brows slightly rose at that part, "but are you some kind of pervert?" now he slightly gaped.

"I'm not a pervert," he crossed his arms. A stubborn one.

"Well how else do my clothes get ripped to shreds? It's not for style and I don't think there was a third person in here either."

"Well then maybe we did do it," he started smirking. Why the hell was he smirking? Was this another point on his sex list or what?

I glared at him, "If we did, you better make sure you find that damn condom then. If not, you're going to be in a world of hurt where you don't have to think about little Uchiha's again," I threatened him.

He took my threat and flipped the blankets off of the bed. Damn it. There was the condom lying at the edge of the bed. It was used. It was…ugh filled. I looked at him. He was looking at me with a pale face. Wonder why he looks shocked.

Why. That. Little. I grabbed the lamp on the drawer and threw it at him.

"You bastard!"

He merely swatted the lamp to the side with it breaking.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Did I take away your virginity or something?" I smirked when he looked away.

* * *

Sasuke what shall I ever do with you? Humiliate yourself or try to hone your skills in the Art of Doing 'It'? Thanks R&R! 


	2. Situations

AN: Mitsugi Usagi is 22. Sasuke's 20. She has dark green eyes, dark green hair, and isn't a ninja. yay

* * *

RECAP: "You bastard!"

He merely swatted the lamp to the side with it breaking.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Did I take away your virginity or something?" I smirked when he looked away.

I hit the sweet spot. I'm a little surprised with him though. Don't guys usually lose it like in their teens, the peak of their hormones? Pretty strange if you ask me.

"But hey that's okay man. At least you did it with a hot chick right? We can do it again if you want to make sure," I joked but he really is or I mean was a virgin. Can't wait to tell lazy man that I deflowered a man!

"We better figure out what happened," he said seriously.

"Okay, I know I went out drinking."

"I went to a bar and drunk some shots," Uchiha the virgin said.

"Did you pick me up or did I do it?"

"You tried to pick me up," he answered.

"Hmm, right. Anything else?"

"Just a bunch of scattered images."

I nodded, "Me too. What are yours?"

"A leg coming up and then there's a blur. I see a wall, my hand, and I think your hair," he looked at me.

"Well I guess I tried to knock you out but then you blocked my kicks. My legs hurt like hell. I can't stand up," I laughed showing him my legs that I finally took a good look at them. They were all bruised up.

"Give me your arm," I insisted.

He walked over and I took his arm to lie on one of the bruises. Exact fit. There was also a strong handprint that was also his at my ankle.

"Guess you resisted my attempts to take your money then," I deducted.

"My money? I used it all last night."

"You probably bought me some drinks then. Come on virgin princess," he jerked his head at me.

"What did you say?" he glared at me.

"We gotta go to the pharmacy," I said determinedly.

"'We'?"

"Yes, fucking 'we' I know there ain't no mouse in my pocket," his idiocy, you could tell by my cussing, was pissing me off again.

"Why?"

Again with the questions.

"So WE could get a pregnancy test. I don't want to have to come here four months later with swelling ankles and a bump on my stomach. We're going."

He thought about it like it was an option! Grr! Prissy little…

"You mean you want children now?" I groaned, "Geez. We're at the peak of our lives and you want to blast it all away with kids. Hell no this isn't going to happen. Get married to someone else. I'm not going to have some illegitimate kid on my hands here. You wouldn't either, what with your damn, pride reputation clan shit. Not very proper for you, Uchiha."

His mouth twitched. I got him. See? All it takes is a little threat here and there and you'll get what you want. He considered my words a moment and started putting on his ninja shoes. Thank you God for this small-minded fool! He looked back at me with a 'Are you coming or what?' look.

"Uchiha my legs aren't moving or don't want to work. See?" I tried to push myself to stand and crumpled to the floor.

I was still lying on the floor, "Uh some help here?"

He regained some brain cells and put me back on the bed. He continued to stare at me. Wasn't too bright in the can, was he?

"Come on virgin slave. Carry me to the store."

"Again, why?" he didn't like slave I guess. Maybe virgin princess was better.

"You have three options mister. One, give me a piggyback ride. Two, carry me bridal style, which I know you won't choose. Or three, I stay here and invade your privacy some more until my legs get better." And there weren't any other options.

"Maybe I'm that good after all," he rubbed his chin thoughtfully ignoring the options he had to choose. Smuggly. Damn, I wish my legs were working now.

"Virgins can't be great the first time. It's a fact of life. Unless you practice with a blow-me doll or with an expert _non_-virgin then you can't be good," I know what I was saying. I read about these things, "Hmm, maybe there was a third person."

He used his brain for once and squatted down in front of me. I took hold of his shoulders and slid forward. He started pulling my legs forward. A maddening pain entered.

"Ow ow," I cringed, "Slowly please. My legs really hurt," I choked up and squeezed his shoulders.

I felt him turn his head back, "Hospital?"

"No," I counted to ten in my head, "I'm cool. Pharmacy...test, thenI'll think about Dr. Feel Up."

I didn't need any shoes at the moment since he was going to carry me all the way there. Though I don't like people going barefoot outside so I took a pair of socks out of his drawers. I felt like a child. This picked up my spirits even though the pain was still ringing when my legs moved even an inch.

"Uchiha I think we're going to get along just fine," I patted his shoulder.

He answered with an 'hn.'

His house was a freaking mansion when I looked back on the outside. A rich perverted ninja, must be a good sign for me.

"So…we already introduced ourselves. What's with your name? Uchiha… Sounds like something you say when you attack someone. 'Uuu! Chee-yah!'"

He shifted my legs around making the pain triple. I nearly bit his shoulder from the pain. I should've bit him.

"And I was going to let you off for ripping my clothes but I hope you get diarrhea. Bastard," I cringed.

"Uchiha some ugly pink chick is following us," I looked behind me.

He turned around. Two more popped up beside her. I heard him sigh.

"Sasuke-kun! Who is that girl?" the pink one pointed at me. Her voicewas annoying...so was her face.

Sasuke was taking longer than three seconds to answer. I answered for the virgin.

"We're going to buy some drinks and get ourselves drunk. Why do you ask?" I saw the three chicks with their mouths open.

"W-what! Sasuke-kun! Why would you do it with her?" the blonde one glared at me, "When I'm open and free."

"Apparently so are her legs," hey what can I say, I sometimes think out loud.

Uchiha coughed, think he was trying to cover up his laugh. The plump little red haired girl shouted at me.

"Why are you wearing his clothes! And you have no shoes either! Sasuke-kun you can do better than that! Come with us and we can show you a better time than her," the red head is clearly jumping to conclusions whatever she may be thinking. What a dirty little girl.

The other two nodded.

"Someone threw up on me and they stole my wheelchair away. Sasuke's bringing me to the store so I can buy some clothes. That's why I'm borrowing his for awhile," well it was almost the truth. Butdidn't their attitudes turn a 180.

Now they looked uncomfortable. That's great just what I wanted! Uchiha just turned around. He barely said anything.

"Sasuke-kun! We'll help you!" the pink one offered.

"Leave us alone, Sakura," he said coldly.

Did I hear correct? He said 'us' ooh must not like her. We left them in our dust.

I looked back, "You know that crazed woman?"

"She's my teammate."

"I feel your pain Uchiha. And your welcome."

"Hn?"

"Well I did help you back there. I mean what would've happened if I told them the truth? They probably would've attacked me like rabid dogs and carried you away so that they could rape you or something. I wouldn't want to get raped by _those_ wierdos."

----

Finally entering the pharmacy, he walked us into the aisle of our destiny. There was a shelf full of pregnancy tests and under that was the condom shelf. Isn't that quite convenient?

"Well doesn't this make you nervous eh?" I tried to lighten up the mood.

I had two tests in mind. Two of my friends took them and it was accurate seeing how I went to the store to buy it for them. 'Now or Never' test or the 'First Response,' everyone trusted the latter.

I reached out for the pink box but Uchiha grabbed it first. He read the back.

"Only women get pregnant," I said matter of factly.

"Checking the average of it being exact."

"It's more exact than the others are," I took the box out of his hands.

We stood there for a couple more seconds.

"Uchiha…are we going or you need something else?" Ilooked where he was looking, "Uchiha get some condoms too," I ordered him.

He finally got out of his trance, "What?" and turned his head to me.

"Get some condoms. You should carry one with you just in case something like this happens again. Either that or get it for me just in case I run into another ninja. We can each take half." I wasn't paying anyways.

He looked back at the different boxes. Like being born again, he had no clue as to what to do. I pointed at the one I would buy sometimes.

Now don't go spreading this around town but I put sex on hold now. I've been focused on my goal and I just want to make it to the top at least once. Sex would just throw off my game. Enough about this I need to help the deflowered man.

He already paid for items. The cashier was blushing, don't know why, and I was hanging all over him first. He was having trouble putting his money back in his pocket what with him also holding my legs. I grabbed the bag for him and he was able to slip in the change.

A summer breeze swept through once he stepped outside. I shivered and lied my head on his shoulder.

"Uchiha isn't a cold person after all," I rubbed my cheek against his neck.

Just what I expected he froze in his place.

"What's the matter now Uchiha? Never been touched?" I whispered in his ear.

He shivered. Yes, he's never been touched until now. Oh imagine the possibilties with this one. I pinched his cheek.

"Uchiha you seriously need to get laid again. Keep walking. Burning daylight and the stores are waiting for us!"

Shopping. It's a great experience for a guy. I showed him the way to the lingerie place. He hesitated before putting his foot inside the store.

"Oh what a lovely couple," a lady worker said to us, "Need any help? Anniversary? Birthday? There's many choose for every occaison," and a little too cheery for my tastes so I waved her off.

"So Uchiha. Here's where you're going to have to pay attention. When you have a girlfriend you gotta know her likes and dislikes. Especially in the field of lingerie if you're daring to come back here. Ask what her tastes are, take a quick peek at her body. Small? Medium? Or a double? Things like these are important." He interrupted.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Just in case you wanna do it," I grinned, "I'm trying to give you some pointers and give myself some good karma at the same time. Ooh, pick those up for me."

He slowly but surely picked up those nice looking undies I've been eyeing for forever. I sighed when I felt the fabric.

"Get this one. Easy to clean, doesn't ride up on you, and form fitting. This is nice. Women like this stuff. If you pick the one that likes to dress up then lace is the best way to go. The tomboy type, then the boys underwear. A funny girl, give her something with cartoons on them," I waved him over to the bras.

"But I can't help you in the bra department though too complicated to explain all in one day. You use my advice, young grasshopper and snag yourself a competent girl!" I laughed.

Shopping and free,completed and under $50. Being treated like princess, minus those chicks, the nails driving in my legs and his attitude, a check off my wishlist. Getting a guy to carry me all day, priceless.

I kept putting him off with the testing until we got to his house. That pink haired girl was at his doorstep.

"Sasuke-kun."

Determined little flamingo wasn't she?

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to have lunch with me," she was looking at me with dagger eyes.

One more enemy on my list, I bet that's what she was thinking.

"I'm busy. Leave."

He walked past her and closed the door in her face. Wow, what a nice guy. Soon he was standing in the bathroom with me sitting on the tub edge. He read the box and glanced at me.Uchiha handed me one.

"And this is the part where you leave and I do my thing."

"But you can't walk," he reminded me how kind of him.

"Damn right I can't. Everything is reachable now get the hell out of here."

He muttered something about women and closed the door behind him. The test was easy. I wrapped it in toilet paper and washed my hands.

I looked at it again for the results.

"FUCK!"

Uchiha opened the door quickly. He almost hit me.

"The results..." he looks pretty pale.

"It...it...god damn it. Pregnant."

I saw him looking at the happy face on the screen. He looked at the side of the box and glared at me.

He was still glaring. You should laugh a little during a stressful situation like this.

Heh he.

"Just kidding! And now we should celebrate our close encounter!" I pushed it into the trash can.

* * *

there we go. Time to eat a late night snack. Girl power. R&R 


	3. Chapter 3

----

So that was one problem solved. I don't know about that filled condom that was still on his bed. We'll have to solve that one for another day. The next one on the list was my legs. My jelly-fied legs were useless for now. Should I go to the hospital?

Doctors don't make me nervous, the nurses do. Creepy nurses watching your every response to the medicine they stick into you. I trust doctors completely it's the nurses that write false information making you sue the doctors in the first place. Not going there.

Sadly I couldn't have a drink with the relieved Uchiha. I don't want him taking advantage of me while I'm helpless. I know I'd probably let him have his way with me, (like he knows what he's doing), and he was also watching his drinking. I would like to see him drunk one of these days.

"Can't use your legs yet?" he slightly swayed after the third bottle.

"No," it's a darn shame too. Thought he could hold his liquor.

I watched him stand up and put me back on his back again.

"Uh…where we going?"

"Hospital."

Traitor…and look who was working at the hospital.

It was the ugly chick again. Sakura, that's what Uchiha said to her. She really wasn't ugly but I just get bad vibes from her. She's jealous of me? Wow let me look around if anyone else was witnessing this…Sadly no one was, but was I really that pretty that she'd be jealous of me? Currently in my situation, yes.

Another nurse came up to us, some chick with white eyes and black bobbin hair. Her name was Hinata on her nurse outfit.

"Sasuke-san is your f-friend okay?" she stutters, what a cute and annoying quirk.

She led us to an empty room. Sakura was standing at the door. Blocking the entryway, damn her I couldn't escape, and Uchiha set me down on the crinkly paper on top of the patient's bed.

The bastard left me with the enemies! And closed the door behind him.

"So where are you hurt?" Hinata said.

I looked at the Sakura girl. Didn't I just lie to her in the last chapter? Hmm, I got bad memory.

"I'll only talk to one nurse and it won't be the one with cotton candy hair," I crossed my arms.

"Hey, I'm a nurse too. I'll just read it in her report," said the evil witch.

"What happened to a patient's privacy these days? Go out and talk to Uchiha."

Her eyebrows rose, I think she almost forgot about him, she closed the door behind her too. I heard the 'Sasuke-kun!' Ugh, fan girls just love to wear the name out. Its one reason I call him by his last name, Uchiha.

I explained the situation to Hinata who blushed and nodded. She hit my knee that automatically kicked up. She stuttered that sometimes women get sore after doing it, I already knew that, and can't move around for a while, which I also knew too.

It didn't cross my mind at first, but isn't that supposed to happen if you doing it really rough?

So either Sasuke's got some pointers from an expert or I did it with someone else and Sasuke just happened to take his clothes off too but didn't do anything. This was giving me a headache.

She healed my legs with her magic glowing hands. My legs moved what a blessing to walk on two feet! That's an amazing trick, I should learn that sometime. I grabbed Hinata's arm before she walked out.

"Please don't write this in a report or tell Uchiha any of this. Just say…uh…that the fighting we did was too much or something!"

"…A-alright. I-it's not that big a deal," she pushed her index fingers together.

I grinned, "Thank you! You're my new best friend. I owe you big time! Hmm, maybe I should pretend to be disabled so I could get another ride from Uchiha," I rubbed my chin.

Hinata giggled, GIGGLED! She makes giggling look cute not like other people, "H-he won't know a t-thing."

I was starting to like this girl. She could be my sidekick or something. I jumped back on the bed as Hinata opened the door and Uchiha quickly made his way inside to get away from Sakura's gibberish voice.

"So?"

"Hinata said I would be able to walk in a couple of hours or so," the lie slid off my tongue easily, "Let's go get something to eat Uchiha and then go home and wait for the miracle to return to my legs."

Sakura was behind him; she looked pretty shocked to see Uchiha comply with my decision, and I gave her the victory sign when he wasn't looking. Today was still a good day.

We got some sushi, tempura, and miso soup as takeout. He decided what to eat, he was paying remember, and sat opposite of each other in his living room.

"Wasn't this an interesting day," I sighed, "It's getting late Uchiha I better make my way on home."

He started to get up, "Don't get up Uchiha."

He stared at me in shock when I stood up on my own two feet. Uchiha got up with me following me to the door.

"Thanks Uchiha! If you ever feel sexually frustrated and it'll happen sooner or later come look for me," I winked at him to which he looked off into the distance trying to will away the blush on his cheeks.

"And then you say 'Hmph whatever. Just don't wake up in my bed again.' Right?"

He didn't say anything. You're not that cool Uchiha. I looked around and called him closer with my finger.

"Uchiha," I whispered.

He leaned in closer to hear. I kissed him on the lips. Hee hee! It's a joy to see the virgin bride's blush!

"Well Uchiha you're just going to have to work on your manly skills. Ciao," I skipped off.

----

A couple of days later I felt something watching me. Either it was Uchiha, a bird trying to snatch my bread, or some reporter. Most likely it was Uchiha, the reporters in the bushes behind me left to have some lunch.

Don't know why he can't come out and say something.

----

3rd pov

Knock knock that was the door. Sasuke felt the familiar presence but he couldn't remember who it was. He was lying on the couch just chillin and waited for whoever to go away.

Sadly the knocking came again. He huffed and opened the door.

Usagi grinned up at him.

"Hey Princess," she said.

"Now what do you want?" he leaned on the doorframe.

"Just gonna say this straight out before I change my mind. Can I stay at your place?" she batted her eyelashes.

"Why should I?" crossing his arms again!

"Well. I'd get your mail for you. Buy the groceries and might even cook dinner and do your laundry. I'll stay out of your hair and wouldn't even think I was ever here. Like a housekeeper sort of. Um…I think that's all the excuses I could think of."

"No," the bastard easily said and started closing the door on her.

She stopped to that and stuck her foot in between.

"Wait damn it! I didn't want to pull this out but I heard you have a bunch of crazy fan girls after you," he opened the door a smudge.

She quickly continued on, "And I could pretend, and I said _pretend_, to be your girlfriend. Thus making them go away. Easy for you. Easy for me. I'll even throw in the part where I throw girls out of your property since I don't feel sorry beating up girls like guys do."

Sasuke absolutely knew Usagi was right about that huge problem…and he really was too lazy to do his laundry and clean up. What a guy. He let her in…

"A wise decision made Uchiha."

----


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone's pondering why I only have a few reviews and the only reason that i can think of at the moment is because they're still reading the non-oc fics. Sucks for them. They'll come along at the end or so.

* * *

4. The explanation 

He watched her explore his large house and started opening the windows and doors.

She stood there looking towards the training ground. A summer breeze came by brushing hair around her face. Something skipped a beat in Sasuke's heart. He shook it off with something bad he ate earlier on.

He stopped her from opening the doors to his parents and Itachi's room.

"What you hiding in there? Dead bodies?" she smirked.

He didn't say anything.

"Fine keep your secret stash of porn hidden. It's just porn," she walked down the hallway to the next room.

For about a week, Sasuke felt Usagi watch him. When he woke up, trained, whatever he did, whomever he didn't talk to, and other things he felt her gaze. He hoped she wasn't a stalker or something.

----

"Hey Sasuke. Looks like it's gonna be a good night huh? Good night," she grabbed her duffel bag and walked out the door.

Usagi was a strange person indeed. He took note of her "daily" routine just as she did with him. She sleeps the whole day and only gets up when the sun goes down or when someone knocks on the door. She'd make dinner for him, say a couple of words to him, grab a yogurt, pick up her bag and leave the place.

What did she do at night? A job? Most certainly. Wonder what that could be.

'Stripper?' Sasuke thought.

Perhaps. She seems experienced but she doesn't look like the type to dance around a pole.

'A waitress?'

All night diners came a lot these days but seeing her being friendly to people? I don't think so.

'A nurse with the night shift?'

No, she didn't know what was wrong with her legs at the beginning. So that's out of the question.

He was too lazy to follow her after he came home last night to see his home sparkly clean. His room stopped smelling of dust and the clothes that scattered the floor was now clean, folded, and put away. Yes even his underwear was folded.

He had the best out of the way shadowy housekeeper. Just give it up for now Sasuke and ask her tomorrow night.

----

"It's been a helluva week," Shikamaru said with his drink held in front of his mouth.

Finally relaxing from his mission.

"You're telling me. I got a girl living in my house," Sasuke took a swig of his.

Kiba perked up, "Is she hot?" with your friends you always got to ask that.

"Define 'hot' for me and then you'll know," he told Kiba who wanted to date every 'hot' girl in Konoha. He still couldn't get Hinata, Sakura, or Temari yet.

Shikamaru glanced at him, "She a gold digger?" he learned how to use the phrase finally.

"I don't think so and I hope not."

"Then what's wrong with her?"

"She walks around the house wearing short shorts and a tank top," Shikamaru took a sip for his unknown problem. Kiba encouraged him to go on, "with no bra on, " Shikamaru choked and coughed out the drink out of his lungs.

"Confident _and_ hot! What a deadly combination," Kiba thinking of himself.

He stared at Sasuke looking back at him. Shikamaru sighed and grabbed a napkin to wipe off the excess on his face.

"Women," he paused to refill his glass, "are nothing but troublesome. It's your house. You tell her the rules."

Shikamaru was right. He usually was.

"Wait before you do that. Let's go check her out!" Kiba stood up almost knocking his drink over.

Shikamaru put his drink down on the table, "I think I would like to see her also."

Sasuke raised a brow at him. I guess Shikamaru wanted to get laid too.

----

The door slammed open making Usagi stop in midstep to see what's all the commotion. Kiba pushed past Sasuke and stopped in his tracks.

"Don't get too excited…Kiba," Shikamaru also stopped shortly after looking past him.

Sasuke was right, the other two males thought. Teal short shorts, a black tank top and barefooted. Kiba ran to her taking her empty hand, already down on one knee. Stars sparkled in Kiba's eyes.

"Hey baby. Wanna have some fun and go out with me?" he ended with a wink. (Reminds me of Miroku. Hehe)

Usagi glancing down at him putting a bottle up to her mouth to take a sip, "Let go of my hand, Scrub," she slightly scrunched up her face and held the beer bottle up to the light and groaned.

"Damn it. This isn't water. Uchiha next time try not to mix the bottles with _no_ labels with the ones _with_ labels," she pulled her hand free from Kiba's and walked back into the kitchen.

"Howdy Shika. Come to take me back?" she said loudly in the kitchen.

The guys turned to Shikamaru who sighed and put his hands in his pockets.

"What a wonderful day," he said.

"Nani! Shikamaru actually _GOT_ a girl? And she's actually hot too? You gotta tell me your secret Shik," Kiba patted his back.

"It's more trouble than it's worth."

----

"Sasuke. You know about this?"

'Hell,' and "No."

The guys were sitting at the table looking at Usagi leaning back on the counter.

"Uchiha I didn't know you knew lazy man also known as your Shika. Long time no see Shika," she said slowly looking at him.

"Not long enough," he muttered under his breath.

"So what's the deal with you two? She your long lost sister or something? Cause I wanna date her," Kiba said.

Usagi laughed, "Funny wolf man but I have bigger fish to fry," she set down her bottle and looked at the clock.

"Why _are_ you living with Uchiha?" Shikamaru questioned.

A knock came at the door. Saved by the knock.

"I'll get it," Usagi jogged to the door.

The guys stayed where they were and listened to the conversation in the hallway.

"Hello?"

"Is this the Uchiha residence?"

"Why yes it is. How may I help you?" Usagi said.

"Is Sasuke-kun here? And why are you here! I thought you couldn't walk!"

"Hmm let me think…Oh now I remember you. You're the one who likes to open her legs, correct?"

Next they heard a slight growl.

"Hey, you bitch. Don't talk to me like that! You don't know who you're talking to," they heard a foot stomp.

"I talked about you like this a week ago didn't I? I thought I could do so again. And apparently I don't want to know who I'm talking to right now," Usagi making no sense to the blond headed figure.

"Why you-! Ah my hair! Bitch get offa me…"

And then they hear her cussing off. Kiba poked his head out of the kitchen first and saw Usagi dragging her away to the outside of Uchiha property.

"If you don't want your hair to be torched next time, wear something less sluttish. Bye bye!"

"Oh ho ho! I see now. Shikamaru couldn't handle her. She makes a good bodyguard too," Kiba stated, "No wonder Sasuke let her in his house."

"Is that the only reason she's staying here?"

"I'm staying here because my manager kicked me out so I needed a place to rest and train, keep his fan girls away, and be his housekeeper. Now mind your own damn business Chika," Usagi walked in the room.

"Train? You're a ninja?" Kiba questioned.

"No she's a boxer," Shikamaru answered for her.

'Boxer?' he never saw that coming.

"Yep that I am," with her hands on her hips, "Fighting one on one with no ninja skills and crap is the fuckin' best."

"Boxing. You fight at night?" Sasuke asked.

Usagi nodded and looked at the clock, "It's almost time for me to go. So…anymore questions?"

"Sadly Sasuke wants you to start wearing bras around the house," Kiba sadly said.

Sasuke glared at him and turned pink.

"Is this true Uchiha?"

He slowly nodded.

"Can't keep your hormones at bay can you? I know, Uchiha, I'm too sexy for you. Just testing how long you can resist my feminine hotness. Well if you got anything else to say to me, post it on the refrigerator. Nice meeting you Kiba-baby. Shikamaru can clue you guys in about me if he doesn't think it's troublesome. Uchiha. You guys might want to calm down. Jerk off or something, I don't want to keep seeing your hard-ons every time I cross one of you," she picked up her bag.

They all covered themselves.

"You don't want to try and jump me this week," she laughed and opened the door, "The big match is next week so I don't need any distractions. Shit I'm late! Damn you guys!"

She slammed the door behind her.

"Man Usagi's hot! This sucks big time. How come both of you have her and I can't?" Kiba complained.

"She doesn't do dogs."

"Oh and she likes a pineapple head and snake eyes? Huh! Geez I'll get her just you guys wait," he said determinedly.

Sasuke and Shikamaru rolled their eyes.

* * *

wonder how long this one will be? 


	5. belated valentine's hehe

Internet finally up _again_, been months away from ff, and nearly died of boredom because of it.

* * *

"So tell me again what's wrong with her?" 

"She used to be my…girlfriend."

"Yeah so? She didn't turn lesbian did she? That would be horrible," Kiba proclaimed.

"You don't want to mess with her Uchiha," calling him by his last name again.

"Tell us then Shikamaru! I don't hear any complaints about her yet. Does she smoke? Is it illegal fighting? She does weed doesn't she?" Kiba crossed his arms.

He sighed once again.

---

Next day.

"Uchiha," Usagi called out.

Sasuke finished with his daily training, wondered what she was doing up and about in the morning.

'She should be still sleeping or something,' he thought and walked in the kitchen.

"Look. I put on a bra. Will your fantasies lessen now that I put on a bra?"

Usagi was in the bra all right. A sports bra that is. That's the only thing she wore on top. I think his fantasies just went into the NC-17 section.

"I made some breakfast and-"

"Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" his eyes on her black attire.

"I wanted to. But my coach says I have to start gaining some weight. Meaning I have to train with other women," she rolled her eyes. "He can sometimes be a yelling pain in the ass. But what can I say? He helps me win matches."

"What class you're in?" he stuffed his face with rice.

Her face was a look of surprise and then of amusement.

"The princess is interested with ME? I'm honored. I'm a lightweight. I weigh only one twenty. You're usually have to be around a hundred thirty to thirty five pounds. I have to gain ten pounds in six days. I could eat anything I want. Sadly Coach Asswipe mysteriously knows what I eat when I train. He's coming over. You could come with us if you don't have anything else to do today," she bit on an apple.

The kitchen was being knocked on.

"Allo! All these packages for one person. Whoo! Who woulda thunk it?" said a countrified mailman that popped up behind the boxes.

"I know. I don't know how he does it. They have some horrible taste in men," Usagi signed on the dotted line.

"Thank ya kindly! I don't think you'll be eatin' any cocos any time soon. So I'll just leave 'em outside for now. You have some women at your gates too," the cheery mailman hopped off.

"Much obliged mister!" she took a package, " 'To Uchiha Sasuke. My heart, soul, and body? All rolled into this box?' Seriously Uchiha you got some kinky fan girls. I swear," she tossed it back into the pile.

Rumble, rattle, and bang. Bang bang. Screaming fan girls. Usagi's eyes popped out and slammed the door behind her.

"I forgot today was Valentine's Day. Next time you should put up an electric fence up Uchiha. They didn't even bother knocking on the gate," she locked the door.

"Uh, now where you're going?"

"Out," he dumped his dishes in the sink and hurriedly started pulling his shoes back on again.

"Where?"

She was right. Everywhere he could think of would be filled with his stampeding fans. And if he stayed here, who knows what could happen if they made it inside! He could see it in the papers "Uchiha! Raped by Women?" Sometimes he wished he was born ugly or normal looking.

He looked at her, "To meet your coach."

--

After escaping the lovesick women around his house, she led him to her gym.

"Now Uchiha I'm warning you now that the women you will meet in here will have boyfriends. And they will stare, ogle, and 'accidentally' touch you. But that's okay, you should be used to that by now. Just stay close to me and they'll think you're my boyfriend," she patted his cheek and opened the door.

Sasuke warily walked in, just an ordinary boxer's gym, he sat down next to Usagi. She handed him some wraps.

"Come on slave wrap my hands up. The coach isn't here yet so I can do my own thing for awhile," Usagi give him her hand.

"Mitsugi finally stopped being a night owl? Impossible," a boxer walked up to them.

"Shut up Jorge. It's only temporary until next week. So don't get used to my hot ass."

"Who's that?" Jorge nodded to Sasuke.

"Oh him? He's my slave. I thought I should get another one by now."

"You ran that last guy straight to the ground. You sure this one can keep up with you? He looks pretty scrawny," Sasuke twitched and continued rolling.

"If you were my slave Jorge, you would've been famous and six feet under," she switched hands.

Jorge stepped back with his hands up, "Yeah famous and six feet under."

"At least you know what you can gain being my sla-"

The gym door slammed opened, "MITSUGI USAGI!" she cringed.

"He looks pretty mad. Back to training Mits!" Jorge jogged off.

"Damn Jorge. Why didn't I see that trap? Ass did that on purpose," she tugged on her red gloves with her mouth as fast as she could and jumped up.

Usagi watched him stomp over, the crowd spreading apart like he was Moses. A lanky man about the same age as them, Sasuke suspected. Wearing a white tank top and black sweats he looked prepared.

"Usagi…" he started.

"You know that vein on your head is a turn on right?" she tried to flatter.

"I have never seen that many crazed women in Konoha all in one place. What happened to 'waiting'?" He ripped off the sleeve that was nearly falling off.

"Well we didn't want to get closed in by those people and that's all I got."

He glanced at Sasuke before looking at her again.

"Two hundred pushups _now_," the lanky tall dude said with authority.

"…ass."

"Unless you want to go against me, I suggest to move it," he grinded.

"But my gloves are on already," Usagi brought them up.

"But they're not laced up," he pointed.

She missed that and glared at Sasuke. He just started noticing the women seated around him now.

"Who's this little fella?" a chick leaned into Sasuke.

"Stella. Meet my new slave. Uchiha meet Stella, my bitch in training and my coach, Pachin."

Just think of Pachin as Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop. Ooh that's hot now! Aha.

"Hey _former _bitch. You'll let me borrow him right? Mine doesn't look up to par like yours does," Stella hands were on his chest. What happened to personal space?

"Nah, I still need to break him in a little. I only had him for a couple weeks now," she got down on the floor.

Pachin lifted Sasuke up by the arm and cleared his throat, "Enough of talking about your boy toy Usagi. Either he helps or your 'slave' needs to get out of the way."

"Get," she pushed herself up, "friendly with him then. He's an absolute newb at this. Eleven…Twelve."

An hour later…

"You're the second man that she brought here. You her fiancé?" Coach P steadily watched her outside of the ring punch another boxer down.

"No…why?"

"She never let guys tag along. But that's good cause she's mine," Pachin said nonchalantly.

Sasuke looked at him curious. What does that supposed to mean?

Coach crossed his arms, "Mits! Your feet aren't moving! Go do some stepping drills."

She stood up straight, "No fucking way. Just because of my feet. Screw that I need to work on my guns here!" Usagi jumped out of the ring.

"Mitsugi. NOW," P said in a calm voice.

"Tsk," she rubbed the back of her head and walked away, "I get no love around here," she muttered.

"That girl's a pro and very highly coordinated but she thinks too much. She could've been a good kick boxer."

"Stepping drills?"

Coach almost forgot he was there.

"When performing the stepping drills, the athlete should repeat them with increasing speed, alternating his steps, while keeping the same sequence. One example could be to overstep a front line, before with the right foot and after with the left one, coming back at the starting position always in the same way. There are a lot of drills that can be utilized with many combinations.

These drills are very helpful when beginning a program, when the athlete may not be highly coordinated. Her speed is already increased greatly," he said with the utmost knowledge about boxing.

Sasuke watched her, "And she doesn't use weights?"

"She said she doesn't like to use weights especially ankle weights. Once she takes them off, the light step in her footing would immediately throw her off and then she moves ahead of herself, like her talking. And there's too much risk for joint hyperextension injuries when Mits doing high-speed movements."

"Coach! I'm done doing this crap!" Usagi yelled across the room.

"Fine. Go jump some rope."

Her mouth dropped. Other trainees chuckled and grinned at her misfortune that will befall her today.

"Asshole always does this. Trying to embarrass me…shits never on my side," Usagi muttered dragging her rope to the end of the room.

One two. One two. Her momentum steadied and slowly looked to the side of the wall.

"Fuck."

They were already lined up to aim. And she was already in the middle of their view. They pounced, I mean, they chucked! Water balloons at her. It was like dodge ball with balloons and a jump rope.

Everyone did this for two reasons. One, for the person jump roping to gain some evasion and two, to get the floor clean. They were a lazy bunch of bums and the new women hated scrubbing the sweaty smelly floor.

Instead of dodging she just jumped there. Being pummeled to total soak city.

Sasuke merely stared. That one, this gym was crazy and two; he was getting a nosebleed from looking at her.

She coughed, "I swore if half of you didn't have boyfriends, I'd say your freaking lesbians," she jumped back before a dumbbell could smack her.

They merely laughed and went back to training.

--

"Damn. What a workout," she dried her hair.

"I can tell."

"And? What do you think so far?"

Five pm and the day was almost ending.

"Rigorous," was all he said.

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about my guns."

"Guns?" he stopped to look at her.

"Yep," she flexed her arm, "Wanna cop a feel?" she grinned.

He looked at her with a 'Do I really have to see how hard your muscles are?' look.

"I didn't think so. My guns are always loaded. So you better watch out," she joked.

They kept walking. And walking. And Sasuke finally noticed something odd. No fan girls lurking around the corner? No fan girls running up to him to give him any chocolates? Creepy.

"Ah yes. I almost forgot it was Valentine's Day. Wait here Uchiha and hold my bag," she tossed it for him to catch it.

He watched her enter a mini market. Coming out a few moments later with a hallmark card in her hand. She wrote his name on the card on her leg.

"Almost forgot to put your name. Happy Valentine's Day Uchiha," she pushed the card in his chest grabbing her bag and walking off.

'Always so forceful,' he looked down at the blue envelope.

Opening it to see two cartoon bunnies looking like their running. Inside it said…

_We're on the run from Cupid's gun. __Who needs love? Not me says I. Darn I got shot. Hurry don't get caught._ _I'll turn crazy a day or two. While he chases after you…__You're crazy too, as I can see. Might as well let love be._

And what she wrote…

'To my sweet valentine aka virgin princess,

May you have the biggest orgasm of your life.

Love, not. Usagi'

He wouldn't admit it but this was the best valentine's yet.

"You gonna stand there all day? Or let fan girls have their way with you?" she called out to him.

She was already thirty feet away from him when he felt the familiar fan girl gaze upon his back.

* * *

Ho ho ho. They have now recognized Usagi as bodyguard and Sasuke's human restraining order. 

_gonna Add some more.

* * *

_

Sasuke thought getting ready for his mission tonight. 

He headed for the kitchen and saw Usagi sitting at the table and looked up.

"I'm leaving for a mission."

"Don't know when you're coming back? Or is that supposed to be a secret as well?" she looked back down to finish putting bandages on her knuckles.

"Two days tops."

"I'll still make you dinner just in case. You have a couple of messages and gifts," Usagi took out a notepad from her back pocket, "Sakura came by asked if you wanted some lunch for your trip. Shikamaru came by but since you weren't here and all. He didn't want to leave a message. Kiba asks if you picked a girl yet. I don't know what he's talking about. And food from a bunch of girls."

"Throw 'em away. If Sakura comes back, I left," he finished securing his mask on.

"Don't you want something to eat at least?"

He thought about it. He hadn't eaten anything all day. Sasuke lifted up his mask.

"Something light," he sat down.

"Yes princess!" she stood up.

"Stop calling me that."

"Well the hell am I supposed to call you then? Sasuke? No. Uchiha? Only around other people. Princess…is the most acceptable. I could make it longer… Oh shit, how about Sailor V!" she laughed and pulled out a wok.

"Hell no."

"You're a nice guy Uchiha. But I wonder what I ever saw in you when I was drunk as hell. You're such a pansy," she shook her head.

--

"Sasuke."

He turned around to see Shikamaru waiting by the exit of the Hokage's. Sasuke kept his animal mask on.

"Hn?"

"Usagi's sick. Come pick her up," Shikamaru pushed himself off the wall.

He nodded, his pulse quickening at the thought. Shikamaru quickened his slow pace to his house.

"Troublesome boxer. Yesterday she fainted right in front of my house. I don't know what she's been doing," Shikamaru opened the door to his room, "But I don't like it."

They stood over her, sweating in her sleep, the blankets twisted in her grip.

"Possibly a fever that's what Hinata said when she came over last night."

"I came here because?"

"Next mission is in the afternoon. You're going to have to take care of her," Shikamaru looked at him speaking captain to captain.

And no, he wasn't being a heartless bastard leaving her to go on a mission. It was plain Shika and he knew Sasuke had a thing for her now. It was simple man-to-man understanding when they saw the same woman.

"Anything else?" Sasuke asked.

"…Usagi doesn't like stuffy places so open a window a little so she doesn't complain," Shikamaru exited the room.

Sasuke sighed and lifted up his mask. Clad in Sasuke's old clothes, he wondered what she had been doing while he was gone, and picked her up.

He wondered watching her head roll to him.

* * *

I figured out why such few reviews have been coming in. it's because the fanfiction people didn't put up an OC as a Character. they really should. out of the whole Sasuke U. section there's probably like what? 300 or so good fics and out of that like 50 ones with OC you can see where i'm going at here. 


	6. Chapter 6

Man you guys read quick; got reviews the night I put it up. That's cool

* * *

"Ugh, what a bitchin' headache," she groaned.

"And she lives."

Usagi looked to her side to see Sasuke, "Uchiha. I would say you're a sight for sore eyes but I prefer food," she threw the blankets away and touched the ground.

In the Kitchen…

Sasuke tapped his foot. Possibly waiting for a 'Thank you'?

"That tapping is getting pretty annoying Uchiha," she looked through the fridge.

"What happened?"

"Those girls got me good. I'll get them next time," she closed it.

"What girls?"

"My fan club?"

"Oh right, they tried to poison me, drop a flower pot on my head, and then started throwing kunais. I mean really, it's rather easy to dodge all of those things. But I think one of them got mad when I punched her in the face. She was sure bleeding. Then some kind of green smoke was coming out of this tiny ass ball. The next thing I knew I was here," she drank some bottled water.

"Wearing my clothes?"

"Oh yeah, I didn't know what to wear so I decided to wear your clothes cause guys clothes are always comfy. I took a nap…then some chick was knocking on the door. I had to kick her ass off of the property and by the time I did that the other zombies started attacking."

Usagi watched his eyes turned contempt to hatred. He looked like he was going to murder someone. Must have learned that from his brother.

"You don't know who did it anyway and I'm not telling. I'm fine now, Uchiha. It's great having a slave that cares and all but I'll take care of it tonight."

Sasuke looked back at her, hearing words of promise and a devilish objective in mind. He'll just have to wait until tomorrow or watch her back just in case her plan fails.

But that word was getting to him now. Slave. Slave? Come on now I should come up of something better than that. Nah. So deep in thinking he missed her walking out of the kitchen door. Sasuke found her pulling out weeds in the back of his mansion of a house.

"You should still be resting," he didn't try to stop her. This scene looked quite familiar.

"I'm done with resting. I don't know how long I was out but this place got messed up pretty quick. Dirty dishes, laundry, the damn weeds live again. Uchiha has a large place all to himself and he doesn't even clean. What a lazy ass," she pulled out a large one talking to herself out loud.

Sasuke didn't say anything and still continued to watch her. Something from the back of his mind was there poking him. But he couldn't figure out what was poking him. And when he continued to look at her the poking was harder. Maybe if he just continued watching he'll know what was poking.

He didn't have anything to do anyway. And so he did, follow her around all day watching her do house chores. This was a first that she wasn't chatting.

"What's with this 'slave'?" the silence was getting to him.

Usagi jumped and turned around, "I forgot you was there," she went back to picking up the dirty clothes off of Sasuke's floor.

They were now in his room. Nearing the noonday, it was time for laundry. Sasuke didn't mind Usagi in his room. It was only clothes and she didn't look like someone who would sell his clothes to his fan club. The poking continued and it felt right Usagi being in his room. Minus the clothes in her arms. Thoughts of her and his bed filled his thinking space.

"You don't like it? I ought to put a bell around your neck so I know where you are. Hehe like a cat that's cute. The women at the gym know I train slaves. They think you're my fourth and the second one that I showed to them. I usually show them pictures instead because frequently I find the better-looking ones than their boyfriends."

What kind of slaves? Sasuke was thinking of the naughty ones. He wondered if he'll learn something from her. He does need some tips since he doesn't know the feng shui and all to having great sex.

"Training to do what?"

"You know the typical slave learning crap," she shrugged and walked out of the room.

Typical? It sounds like she's been talking with other Slave Trainers. Sasuke was getting interested. She faced him after turning on the washing machine. Leaning back and crossing her arms.

"Why are you so interested Uchiha? I think my bad influence is rubbing off on you," she watched the feigning interest in his face. He was interested.

He didn't say nothing. The poking in his head finally punched through his forgetfulness and he remembered why the scene in the garden looked so familiar.

'You remind me of mother.'

His mother used to love gardening. It was a favorable memory of his. Even though they're practically opposite, Usagi's movements were similar to his mother. The grinning, the light in her eyes when they talk to someone, and even their stances.

I'd bet they would've been great friends or have some kind of student teacher relationship. And we all know how ninety percent of men like to date someone like their moms.

"I sometimes torture my slaves if they start getting irritating. You sure you want to be my slave Uchiha? I mostly make them help me on my training and as practice dummies. Maybe ninjas will last longer…I won't use you too much. What do you say Uchiha?" her eyebrow quirked.

All Sasuke could do was stare at her lips when she said that. She gave him a chaste kiss, first lesson already, and Sasuke was starting to like his first kiss. He made the second move by pushing his tongue in her mouth. Second lesson, frenching. He was starting to get into it but she pulled her head back.

Usagi kinked her head, "You need to practice kissing Uchiha. We'll have to work on that later."

Somebody was knocking on the door. Damn whoever it was that was interrupting their precious moment.

"If anyone's going to get the door then you have to get your hands off me Uchiha."

His hands slid off her waist.

"At least you know where to put your hands. Hand positions will also have to be taught another day," she jogged to the door.

Sasuke was out of breath, heart beating fast, his body tingling like he fought against Naruto. Something was seriously wrong with him if Usagi came off of that kiss unaffected.

He shivered and walked to the kitchen. Usagi opened the door and stopped her midway smile.

"Pachin," she didn't widen the door.

"No crazy women around eh?" he spit out his cigarette and squashed it.

"Training doesn't start until twelve."

He held up a stack of papers, "Those jackasses finally got their act together. All we have to do is sign and then we'll be free," he grinned.

Usagi frowned and folded her arms as if she was cold, "Can it wait until after the match?"

His smile dropped, "Nothing's changed Usagi. I already signed it. Read it if you want you know what we'll be doing later on anyway," he handed her the paper and left.

She closed the door and leaned her head on the door. Looking at the worded documents dangling from her hand.

--

Sasuke aimlessly watched the whole scene from the kitchen since he had nothing else to do. Usagi's whole aura gone to gloomy.

"Usagi," he rested his hand on her shoulder.

She slightly turned her head, "What do you want Uchiha? I'm trying to not think about this," she stopped leaning on the door and rubbed her head.

"What did he want?" again he was in a curious mood today.

"Pachin just came by…to remind me that we're nearing the end of our days," she picked up her gloom and pushed Sasuke out of the way.

"Sometimes I wonder what's the point of getting divorced only to get married again?"

He grabbed her shoulder, "Stop speaking in riddles. What's that supposed to mean?"

Usagi looked at the hand on her shoulder, "Do as I say slave. Get your hand off me," the tone in her voice made him release her.

Sasuke stopped following her. Stood there for a few moments and went off to visit a certain lazy ass.

--

"It's you," Shikamaru opened the door wider, "I should've went back to sleep."

Sasuke walked inside Shikamaru's apartment.

"Does the Hokage have another mission? Because I'm using my vacation time now," Shika sat down on the couch and yawned.

"No. It's about Usagi."

Shika nodded slowly, "She made you her slave didn't she?"

"No," he lied. It wouldn't be good for two ninjas to fall for her and know about it.

"Then it's about her husband then most likely," he leaned back some more.

This brought some light in Uchiha's dark thoughts, "So then her coach is…"

"Yep, her husband. They're going through the divorce but I don't know if they both want it or not. Usagi looks like she don't. She's really troublesome."

Usagi must still be pining for Pachin then.

"Then what does she need slaves for?"

"Test dummies, human punching bags, teach men how to 'respect' more like serve women. If she asks you to be her slave, say no. Sure you might get some endurance from letting her punch you in the stomach a couple of times. But then when she starts her kicks you might want to leave at that point."

Sasuke was going to ask another question but then stupid Shikamaru fell asleep.

--

"Uchiha!" she ran to him. Back to her good mood.

"Now what?"

"Before I go to training, you…are going to assist me."

"On what?"

"On my revenge on the evil fan girls of course," she shoved a heavy sack for him to hold.

His brow raised, what had he gotten himself into? She grabbed his arm and ran to a very familiar house. It was one am. Time for beauty rest.

"Now Uchiha you're the lookout. This will take a few minutes," she grabbed the sac and climbed to the second floor.

He could've helped her with that but he was distracted watching her butt. She climbed inside. The room was dark, Sasuke saw a couple flickers of light but that was it. Few people were walking by, just dog walkers and drunks. She was taking too long. He looked up again at the window and watched her leap.

His heart nearly stopped as he caught her.

"Slave, our work here is done. Let's go home so I can eat something. Hehe indeed. Too bad I can't laugh out loud or they would wake up. No one messes with Mitsugi Usagi and gets away with it. Except for that one dude that stole my panties he got away with it," she put her arms around his neck.

The sac was empty.

--

The next day.

"Uchiha."

"What?" he was trying to meditate.

And I thought she said she would stay out of his way?

"Do I make you randy?"

"?"

"In lame mans terms, Do I make you feel…lecherous?"

"No," but he paused before that.

"I know you think of dirty things when you look at me," she nudged him grinningly.

Sasuke moved his head, "No I don't."

"Liar anyway let's go on a date."

Sasuke cocked his head to the side in question.

"So your fan club can see that you have a girlfriend aka me. Then they'll be so angry at me that they'll forget about you for a few days while they plot against me. Get it?"

"What's the catch?" there's always gotta be some catch.

"You get ignored," his eye twitched, "while I get some amusement from their insidious plans," Usagi grinned.

I wasn't too sure about that. His fan club was absolutely crazed about him and anything getting in their way of being his wife. On Valentine's Day, someone sent a piece of their hair and another who written a poem in their own blood. Kinda creepy and too obsessed to me.

"Come on. I need to go out any way," she tugged him inside the house to get dressed up.

Not like Sasuke's going to dress differently today. He just changed to his clean pair of blue cowl shirt and white pants. He waited outside of her bedroom. She called him inside.

"Uchiha which color looks better green or pink?" she held up two dresses.

Unfortunately Sasuke must be out of it this week because he can't stop staring at her.

"Come on slave. The green one matches my hair and eyes but then the pink one just makes me even cuter," she said conceitedly.

"Pink," he watched her turn around and saw she was wearing bright orange panties that was similar to that other pair when he had to carry her to the lingerie store. I shall call that store The Ninja's Secret

Sasuke looking like regular old him and Usagi looking sexy made quite the hot couple walking down the busiest street. The girls were glaring, crying, and seething at them while the guys were drooling, whistling, and all the like to Usagi. The rumors have started off. Usagi's plan was turning out well.

--

The waiter brought them to their booth.

"Come on. Scoot. Now let's see," she opened the menu and looked it over.

Sasuke obviously noticed that Usagi was getting a little close to him. And by close I mean her leg was touching his. Usagi didn't seem to detect the electricity skipping up and down those two legs touching.

All it did was gave Sasuke some lecherous thoughts about Usagi and her orange underwear. He should use this opportunity to control his urges. The waiter came by Usagi ordered for both of them.

"Okay…Sasuke," she had trouble saying his first name.

She tried it out again, "Sasuke. Check out the females in this place," he liked the way she said it.

And you guys thought this was a date for real.

"Pick out a girl you like," Usagi went on.

He didn't find anyone he particularly liked. Sasuke was a picky high standards kind of guy. His conscious did thought someone beside him was in the category of 'like' though. Wink wink.

"Why should I? I only agreed to come with you."

"You're my slave remember?"

"Yo! Sasuke! Who's this lovely young lady with you?" It was Kakashi, sitting himself down across from them, who put away his book and stared at Usagi.

"You know this guy? U- Sasuke."

"Unfortunately he's my sensei Kakashi. Mitsugi Usagi," Sasuke introduced.

"I see you finally taken an interest in the opposite sex. I was beginning to wonder…" Kakashi put his hands on the table.

"I'm still wondering," Usagi grinned and leaned closer.

"Have we met before? I believe we have…somewhere."

Sasuke noted his sensei slightly touching her hands and then moved away.

Usagi's brows rose in question, 'He does look familiar.'

"Maybe at someone's party?"

"I haven't been to one in awhile," she responded.

"Possibly a bar and I saw you across the room? I think that was it."

Usagi shrugged in possibility. Something clicked though. He was her first ninja. That she actually had trouble knocking out before taking his empty wallet ten minutes later. Usagi knew after that to look for a head plate first.

"So anything else new that I'll find out sooner or later?" he looked at his former student.

He just shook his head.

"Anyways back to your date…Mitsugi Usagi. Nice name. Better than Uchiha Sasuke right?" he smiled at her.

Sounds more and more like Kakashi and Usagi's date.

"I was just getting ready to teach something to your sexually challenged student."

"Oh really? I assume lesson plans include something in here?" Kakashi getting more interested.

"Excellent. Your sensei's catching on pretty quicker than you. Now Sasuke pick a girl Kakashi you can pick one too."

Sasuke was taking too long. She rested her hand on his thigh. His mind paid attention to her hand though and not on the women.

"How about that girl with the blouse?" Kakashi picked.

Usagi stared at the brunette, "If you want to get a woman's digits, you got to pick the right one. And that one, yeah she's pretty, but she's a nail biter. The redhead next to her wants to catch a rich one with her makeup and really expensive looking shoes."

"How do you know that?"

Sasuke kept quiet, couldn't concentrate, his thigh was burning while she lightly moved her hand up and down his thigh.

"Sasuke?"

He glanced at her.

"I said you should go and try to pick up one of them."

He blinked.

"Come on Sasuke. It's not that hard what with all them chasing you. It's about time you chased somebody," Kakashi urged.

"Prfft nah," he tried to relax.

"It's not gonna hurt unless they try to rip your clothes off dragging you to some motel. If you want you can go the easy way with that one," Usagi pointed to the kunoichi.

She looked easy enough and he didn't want anymore nagging from the two sex experts or sexperts. That was a dumb one. Usagi let him out and watched him saunter his way over to her. She noticed him first and started a conversation.

"Five bucks he doesn't get a number," Usagi betted.

"A date if he does," steadily eyed her.

Usagi looked at him.

"You're on."

* * *

keep getting a blank on what to put next. anway thanks for reading! 


	7. Chapter 7

Recap: "A date if he does," steadily eyed her.

Usagi looked at him.

"You're on."

* * *

"So like I was saying. Then Rui came banging in. It was like what the heck! I'm trying to make a surprise attack here. He totally ruined it and the enemy got away. Gosh," she sipped on her drink.

Sasuke was lost in translation and looked towards Usagi.

"Get with the picture Sas! _Pretend_ you're listening to her," she whispered. "Be…" she motioned her hands she was couldn't put it in words, "like Kakashi."

Sasuke leaned back a little on his stool, watching her mouth formed his sensei's name.

"Wait a minute. What am I saying? I'm supposed to make him lose," she lightly slapped her cheeks.

"Like me huh?" Kakashi rubbed his chin.

"Hey I only know Kiba and Shikamaru as his friends. I think you're the better candidate for him," clearly she didn't know anything about Kakashi.

"I think you should've told him how to make conversation first," Kakashi watched his student.

A woman blocked their view; they both looked up, smiling down at Kakashi ignoring Usagi.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Hatake. Every time I see you, you always have a different woman on your arm," it was brunette.

"Well you know how it is. Women can't resist me," he shrugged.

"In any case, whenever you're ever free. Hit me up again," she gave a wink and strutted off.

"Hmm, maybe I should hand Sasuke over to you. You are after all his sensei. But kinda rough on the ladies yea?"

"Have to be if I don't want them to run all over me. And anyways they love the Screw You type. If you did, I would just let him study up reading Come Come Paradise."

Usagi nodded, "Yeah you're right. He wouldn't let his mighty pride down by asking another guy I guess."

"Exactly."

"If he's ever gonna get laid, he has to rock the boat first. Then I'll teach him something after embarrassment and humiliation, which is after this because he sure as hell doesn't know what to do. Maybe I should've chosen someone else. She still has some baby fat. Kind of makes Sasuke look like a pedophile or something. There's a sick thought." she looked at Kakashi.

"Your method sounds right enough for Sasuke. He doesn't learn the easy way and makes it harder on himself then I tell him the easier way to do it. Find it quite humorous to see him get annoyed," Kakashi smiled.

"These lessons…for my sexually challenged student…also include the art of…?" Kakashi left it for her to fill in the blank.

Usagi held her glass of water before her mouth, "If I was Frank, I would say he would learn the basics. But I'm not Frank, so before I do anything to him. He's going to have to experience it firsthand by trying it out himself. Because you know how the first time always have to be unpleasant?" Kakashi nodded for her to continue.

"Another awkward position for him to experience. Then I _might_ teach him, depends on how long I stay, and he has the choice to use the advice I give him."

"You sound almost like me."

"No. Stop," she abashedly tapped his hand.

-

'What would Kakashi-sensei do? …Read his book and giggle. Hell no. What is Usagi thinking?' Sasuke nodded to the unaware chattering woman beside him.

"You really know how to make good conversation Sasuke-chan. We should do this again sometime," she got off her stool and set down some money.

Sasuke barely said or started the conversation. Entirely one-sided. But he was even more shocked when she handed him a receipt…with numbers on the back. Score one for the student!

-

"I lost…" Usagi drooped as Sasuke sat back down.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow night then," Kakashi happily said.

Sasuke raised a brow in question.

"Okay," she didn't tell him her match was tomorrow night as well, "I think we had enough for today Sasuke. I'm feeling stuffy it's time to leave this joint," she lightly shoved him to get out again.

They were outside the restaurant. Kakashi still hanging around them.

"Is that you Sakura? What'd you do to your hair?" Kakashi observed.

Sasuke and Usagi turned to Kakashi's direction.

"Hey there she is. That bitch torched my hair!" one woman with a wig on pointed in their direction.

The zombies looked where she pointed. They all looked horrible, shaved eyebrows, torched hair, split ends, and permanent ink was all over their faces, water-proof if I might add.

"What where?" Usagi looked around innocently.

"You!" they said in unison.

Usagi stepped in front of Kakashi and Sasuke, "I didn't do anything. What proof do you have that I would waste my time making you women hideous as your insides?"

That made the women even more suspicious.

"See Uchiha? You're right in front of them and they don't even care about you," Usagi whispered to Sasuke.

"You shouldn't even be near Sasuke-kun! Get away from him right now!" one of the eyebrow-less chicks stepped forward and brought out a katana.

"Sasuke-kun!" it was Sakura with a hood and sunglasses on, "Let's go on a walk," tried to tug his arm possibly far away from Usagi as possible.

Sasuke looked closer to see her brows were also clean-shaven off. Like a female version of Gaara. How nice.

"No."

"Oh come on. Usagi looks busy with Kaka-sensei anyways," she smiled.

He took his arm away, "She still needs to tell me something," he looked at Usagi who perked up at her name.

Usagi continued to watch nine females come closer and wondered if she did her household chores fast enough if she might get some free time to sleep uninterrupted. Pachin did mention she thinks too much.

"Usagi don't forget to dress nice tomorrow," Kakashi was unfazed by the charging women.

"And you better wear something other than that Hatake," she quickly glanced at him and back to the weapons popping into each of their hands.

Sasuke still didn't know what the heck they were talking about. He didn't like it when he didn't know the inside stuff.

"I think they're taking this too seriously," Usagi commented.

"Oh so it's Hatake now is it?"

She peeked over his shoulder to see how fast they were coming in, "Well until I get to know you we're still strangers. An acquaintance of an acquaintance. So you have to be extra polite because of that."

Kakashi stuck his hands in his pockets, "Think you can handle them?" he nodded to the zombies.

She rubbed her chin; "I haven't disarmed this many people in a couple of months. I could do that or I can run but then they'll just follow me cause they're ninjas so…damn it shoulda stayed in ninja school," she cracked her knuckles and looked back at them.

"Can I hurt them?" she looked at Sasuke.

"Can you?" he thought she was kidding around being his guard.

"Alright Sasuke just a little," and stood in front of them. They circled her like in all the cool fighting movies.

"So which one of you is going to get uglier first?" Usagi offered with a smile.

"She's pretty fearless," Kakashi observed.

One behind her started, kunai in hand, Usagi turned around and avoided the kunai aimed for her face by grabbing her arm and pulled her in for a knee in the stomach.

"One down. Eight cookies to go."

Enemy number two had a whip. She was going a little overboard. Usagi watch her crack the whip and flinched. Suddenly it was roped around her leg, Usagi looked up and saw her smirk and jerked on it.

But of course the easiest way to avoid falling on your ass like an idiot was to run forward so the whip doesn't get a hold on your leg. Usagi ran forward and grabbed the loosened whip around her leg and wrapped it around her hand.

Usagi tried to punch her face but Cookie two ducked and lifted Usagi over her head and back.

Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sakura saw her nice Ninja's Secret bright orange panties. They gaped; two of them thinking the exact same thing while the other were in horror that she had the latest ones.

Usagi caught herself on one foot; the whip around her hand helped her not fall, and because her left slipper slipped off her foot a feet away.

Still clasped in Cookie's hand, Usagi pulled the whip to the ground crouching for her slipper. Cookie was now on her back, she gasped, and Usagi pushed her off in front of her.

"I'm starting to think that you guys never paid attention in class," Usagi removed the whip from her hand. "But I really like your whip."

The third cookie was easily, with a twist in the wrist, flipped on her back.

One by one, the last seven was groaning from places they didn't know existed. Uh oh, Sakura stepped up to her. Now Kakashi and Sasuke were deciding to jump in or not.

"You know how long it took to grow my hair?" Sakura seethed.

"Hey. Hair grows back. It might not be the same color but it'll grow back. I dunno about eyebrows but I heard they don't," Usagi shrugged, picked up a kunai and with a fumble caught it again, "hehe maybe I should start training with this again."

Going one on one seems to be the method of fighting today. Hand to hand and since Sakura was a ninja and Usagi not. It seemed well to her advantage. Sakura was satisfied when she got a hit contacting with Usagi's stomach.

"Shit that was it?" Usagi coughing holding her stomach, "I'm going to enjoy flipping you," she grinned.

Usagi started grabbing the women's scattered weapons around to throw at Sakura. She dodged them all.

Papers were thrown at her, Usagi must've grabbed the tagged explosions off of someone, Sakura's eyes widened when a couple touched and exploded on her. Another one, a timed tag, exploded in front of her and dust clouded her view.

Sakura could still see the sparks of tags exploding on the ground but that didn't really help. She coughed when a smoke bomb started fizzling out. Making it even worse.

Kakashi and Sasuke and a couple of onlookers watch the cloud rising and cover the two fighters. Knowing their Sharingans won't work they could still tell which one was standing idly by while one was moving by their chakra. The lesser chakra was Usagi of course and she was moving in quite fast towards the idle Sakura coughing her lungs out.

The dust was settling, everyone on the outside waited, when they could finally make out their clothes. They watched Usagi parry Sakura's kunai and both had each other's shoulders. Sakura could see her now and pushed her off with her foot.

"That was for my hair."

Usagi fell to the ground and rolled back up; "This was my favorite dress you know that?" she looked at the tear at the bottom.

She was crouching now and drawing on the dirt floor, "If I buy a needle and a thread, how much would that cost? …but then there's that other store that does it cheap…" she scrawled some numbers on the floor.

"Huh? Hey we're still fighting here!" Sakura got in front of Usagi to mess up the configurations.

Usagi looked up at her blankly. Her brows rose, "Oh yeah! We were. I thought you were giving up."

Sakura put her mad look on and kicked her in the face. Sakura that was a low blow.

And enjoying this part, "And this is for my eyebrows," and went for another one.

The second kick was stopped. One hand hooked under that leg, the other on Sakura's neck.

Usagi stared up at her, "I think I'm going to have fun living with Sasuke don't you think?" she smiled and…felt an arm around her belly.

Kakashi pulled Usagi away, "I think we know who won here."

Usagi straightened and tried to flap the dirt away from her summer pink dress. She scowled and gave up.

"Should of stretched and my arms hella hurt," she stared at her arms.

Bruises and cuts that she didn't even notice, "Should of wore some shoes too," when she looked down at the dark ring around her ankle.

Someone took hold of her shoulders. It was Sasuke who started leading their way home.

"Man I'm tired princess. I hope now they'll see not to mess with me, heh," she coughed.

"Hn."

"'Hn'? Is that all the thanks I get for trying to help you? Ungrateful."

Sasuke caught her from falling.

"But at least you have some good timing. Ass. Don't think that this is gonna make me stay…" she was too tired to finish her sentence…

'Strange woman. Gets tired after beating eleven kunoichis' in a real fight but she can manage twenty boxers in a row for training?' Sasuke thought as he took off her slippers and carried her to her room.

He set her down on the bed wondering if he should take off her clothes…and put her pajamas on wherever they were.

Sasuke wrapped up her arms and put a Band-Aid on her cheek. Stupid Sakura, he wouldn't forgive her for ruining Usagi's pretty little face. He immediately shook that thought

"Mm Uchiha?" her eyes were dazed looking at him.

"What?" maybe his wish will come true after all.

Faintly, "You're an asshole," and rolled over to her side and fell asleep.

Wishful thinking and hours later…

"Princess?" Usagi said sleepily peeking in thru the door.

Sasuke was still awake, lying in bed, reading a scroll and saw her hair bedraggled like she just woke up. A leg, an arm, and then the whole body slipped through. She slowly closed the door behind her and crawled underneath the covers.

"Usagi wha-?" he dropped his scroll as dark green hair entered his sight.

Her whole body was cold as he felt her halfway on top of him, "This room's warmer than mine. I think I might start using it," she drifted off to sleep yet again.

Sasuke sighed; he won't be able to sleep now with a woman on top of him…Or will he? He was only in his boxers and she was back to short shorts and a pajama top from his position looked like only one button was buttoned. If you get what I'm saying hehe.

He turned off the light and stared at the ceiling. All he had to do was put an arm around her. It couldn't be any simpler than that. The only problem was if he could control his hand to stay where it was while on her. Oh what the hell.

She was asleep, she wouldn't notice or mind, his naughty conscious won him over. And that's what he did; it felt like a great accomplishment with his arm on her shoulder. Now if only he could stop feeling the swell of her breasts on him. She moved in her sleep and her top widened some more for him.

'Damn her,' by the light of the moon shining through his window he could see her pale skin and…shit…he had a hard on.

Sasuke rolled to his side and held her. He buried his head in her hair so he didn't have to watch her skin glow and hoped her leg wrapped around him didn't move any higher. Still he wished she did.

----

Next morning…

"The damn fight was postponed damn it all to hell!" Usagi slammed the door.

Shikamaru, Shino, and Sasuke looked up at her.

"Can you be anymore louder?" Shikamaru asked and rolled up the scroll on the table.

Usagi gave the evil eye to them and it stopped them from questioning any further. She stomped off to her room.

"So then we'll rendezvous our teams at checkpoint eight. All right? We don't want any idiots to tail us."

Shino and Sasuke merely nodded. After Shino and Shikamaru left the house, Sasuke heard her calling him inside her room.

"Uchiha!" she said in a determinedly loud voice, "because…my match today is postponed. I'm gonna go training," she said tightly.

She didn't have to tell him that. Usagi trained every day and night.

"And you're gonna help."

'Yep. Should've left with Shikamaru.'

--

"Stop," Sasuke slightly huffed out.

Usagi stood up from her stance, "You are my knave (boy slave or man slave which ever you like) not vice versa. When I say I can stop hitting you in the stomach, I'll say it."

She watched him rub his badly sorely bruised up stomach. She'll let him off for now. The others didn't last two hours of her 'practicing'. This was only the beginning of 'Sasuke the Slave' after all.

Usagi walked towards him and held out her glove covered hands.

"Untie me Uchiha so we can treat you're wounds."

--

Sasuke was lying down on the ground shirtless. Usagi patted his upper torso with some cooling gel (is there such a thing? Oh yea Icy/Hot) to cool down the burning.

"I think you were pretty lucky that I _didn't _take off my gloves Uchiha. Want to know why my fight was canceled Uchiha?" she said lowly.

He nodded once, liking the feel of her voice and hands softly quivering over him, with his eyes closed. This was a nice couple scene; I should put more memorable moments in here, sharing the shade of one of Uchiha's oldest trees. But that's besides the point, she let her hand rest where it was and sighed.

"One of my biggest matches and the referee's sister just had to drop dead. Unbelievable. And we don't have another guy to replace him either so. Next week, another week for me to wait. Gets me antsy that something might happen during this time like my opponent's henchmen might injure me. There's a funny thought to keep in mind," she smirked up at the sky.

"Days like these…" Usagi looked down at him, "are nice," Sasuke took a hold of her hand and stared into her eyes.

"Uchiha," she avoided his gaze, "Feh, you're an ass. A cute one but," she slapped him on the chest where it really hurt.

"Sshh!" he turned over and watched legs walk into the household.

---

Usagi answered the door, "There you are Hatake. I see your casual clothing has gotten the ladies attention. Don't think my wardrobe is gonna get changed. And your hella late," she pointed out.

Kakashi bowed, "Always. Why would I break my streak?" he chuckled, "And about my attire," he looked down and shrugged.

Kakashi was in something different tonight. And we all thought he wore that crappy jounin outfit on a date. Black turtleneck and nice slacks. He could look sophisticated any time he wants. That's how he got the cute librarian to come out of her shell.

"What happened to Sasuke?" Kakashi peered in to see a wet towel over his eyes.

"Oh him? He's just training too hard. Think he was worn out by that woman yesterday," she looked back at him on the couch, "Let's go."

--

"So why didn't you stay in school? You got potential."

Usagi shook her head, "Sure the thought of being a ninja and killing people unaware is appealing. I don't think I'm cut out for it. Too much to think about and my thoughts are usually scattered. I mean right now I'm thinking what color your underwear is and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I love boxing anyway I get to talk crap about my 'teammates'."

"Sasuke's fan members have taken a hating to you. What did you do to them?"

Usagi chuckled, "They just so happened to get me the other day so I returned the favor. Luckily for me, they were having a little sleepover. So I turned on some incense and it was very cruel for me to burn the hair off their heads."

"In a room full of kunoichis'?" he laughed unbelievably.

"Hey it's true. Ask Sasuke, I brought him along."

So far, their date has been going pretty swell. Kakashi's a better conversationalist than Sasuke. The atmosphere of the fancy restaurant, also a good choice. Very romantic. Kakashi was overdoing himself.

Usagi was having guilty thoughts about stealing his wallet now. But she couldn't really tell him that they met before and took one of his books instead because he had no money now can she? He'd go berserko and try to rape her or something.

Then again, you can't rape the willing. And Usagi was sure willing to go with Kakashi at any time.

Fast forward to twelve o'clock am…

"Didn't I tell you it was going to be a good date?" Kakashi smiled through his mask.

"No but it was anyway. I should thank Sasuke for getting those digits then," she smoothed down her black dress.

"You're right," he leaned a little bit more into her.

One. Shall they kiss? Their heads were already past the line of discrimination.

Two. Should I make them? Tough decision, Sasuke was waiting up for Usagi.

Three. Dare I make Sasuke ruin the moment? Or should I just let them kiss? Ahh the boggling mind of nappyhead's faltering moments!

* * *

Kakashi and Usagi's meeting for their date was used in real weblife or myspace as some would call it.

Actual conversation:

I shall SMITE you with flowers (me): There you are Hatake. I see your casual clothing has gotten the ladies attention again. Don't think my wardrobe is gonna get changed. Well keep being late! ciao Hatake

Kakashi Hatake: (bows) Always. why would I break my streak lol and about my attire (looks down and shrugs)


	8. Chapter 8

yes i should do more usagi pov's.

* * *

Can't believe this guy wants to kiss me on the first date! See; picture the freeze frame I'm in right now. You can see that he's invading my personal space and we both can't fit in it. And being backed up to the wall kind of gets me riled up to start throwing punches. 

I felt like I was in slow motion picture, his mask slowly slowly coming off, and him getting closer ever so fast. Yes he was handsome as well as make a good villain but first date kisses are a no no for me.

A sliver of light shone on his face. I shan't say this aloud but thank the mighty jealous slave.

"Usagi," Uchiha loves saying my name doesn't he?

Kakashi already had his mask on when he opened the door. He stuck his hands in his slacks and my bubble of space was playboy air free.

"Night Sasuke. Best be moving on it's going to rain soon. We'll do this again Usagi," he walked away trying to be slick and cool. That right there was the uncool guy.

Sasuke glared at me coming in. What's stuck up his ass?

"What Princess? Jealous you're not getting some?"

"What did you do with him?" meaning did I have sex with him.

"We went nowhere and did nothing Uchiha," I went into the kitchen to find something I could eat.

'Looking like that I don't think so,' he followed me like the starving puppy he was.

This has been the shittiest week ever. New slave, ruined dress, and most of all I'm over my weight. How could that be? I eat eight times a day. I train and make sure to get at least three hours of sleep. It must be because of Uchiha and his stupid fans. I spend too much time on them. More training. Need to meet Pachin later on and see what he wants.

Probably wants me to sign the divorce papers again. What's his problem anyway? Maybe he got some schoolgirl pregnant. Nah, he doesn't do little girls. Makes me depressed though. I don't want to sign them, never wanted to, I love Pachin. But I gotta let him go if he doesn't want to be in a marriage anymore…with me.

Yes depressing while things like suicide, crying and begging to stay, pop into my head as I thought of that last sentence.

But I gotta keep focus! Training for next weeks match and my slave, that might be starting to fall for me, is the most important factor for this month. Eating ice cream always gets me depressed. Ooh ice cream too bad I can't have some.

You know it's a good thing that a slave will fall in love with their masters. Let's us know they'll be faithful and not try to kill us in our sleep.

I watch Uchiha watch me watch him. No special moment here. I broke the staring contest and began to take off my stockings.

"Princess whenever you get married don't forget to tell her I was just a friend cleaning up your place for free. Women tend to think the worst when they hear something of the like. Better yet tell her I'm a lesbian," I grinned wide at him.

I've successfully managed my first two slaves to get married. They're well off now. Perfect gentlemen. Their wives are lucky to marry my slaves.

A brow slightly rose with him gaping at the same time. He had that kind of face when someone eats the last slice of pie right in front of you. Think he's trying to say something now.

"…ah…Are you?" And he's an ANBU captain? Seriously he continues to surprise me.

"…I used to. Now I'm back to plain old straightness. Yep! Straight as circle," I lied about being a lesbian. I thought about being bi but all those diseases you could get…

I stood up, stretched, and looked down at him in his seat, "Uchiha quit asking stupid questions," for a moment I felt nauseated must have been the restaurant food.

They never really cook it right except for sushi…then again maybe Hatake tried to drug me. Oh my god, I think I just gone on a date rape drug type thing!

Anyways Shikamaru was another story; the type that needed to get struck many times before they learn anything; he was the hard headed one. I think the only thing he learned from me was new sex moves and when to say 'Yes you look good in that' and 'No that doesn't complement your .' He learned to not even bother arguing with women a long time ago from his teammate.

So he was a slightly quicker success except he has two women to deal with. That flower girl and that chick from Sand. I approve of that Sand girl. She can whip him into submission for me. So it's like healing a bird with two stones. Works out great to me.

But Princess Uchiha can't be taught like the others, I have to show him everything and either he wants hands on learning cause he can't read instructions or he just wants to touch my goods.

So far I taught Uchiha…hand positions on which I showed him pictures of where, when, and how; facial expressions (Shika failed this lesson terribly) Uchiha did pretty well after I told him he was better just to boost his ego; and when to get jealous. Those were just the basics to being 'perfect boyfriend material.' Though he didn't know this.

"Uchiha," I put a hand on his shoulder, "you're becoming my star pupil. Now those kissing lessons you were waiting for…," I glanced at him, he looked so hopeful. Like a child waiting for those cookies to come out of the oven…

You know what? I never expected capturing a ninja was gonna come with problems like these. For instance, he's unresponsive. Only nods and 'hm' kind of annoying. Yeah he's opening up a bit but that's because I'm living with him for Pete's sake. Sheesh Shikamaru complained at least.

…And falling to the floor. "Will be ready when you're ready," I turned away and slipped on some sandals. I opened the front door and saw a shadow at the gate waving. Pachin was here and he brought his bicycle…

Warm body pressed up behind me, it was only Uchiha, looking outside at Pachin. I don't think he likes Pachin, maybe because he's thirty-two and Uchiha's…how old was Princess?

"Uchiha?"

"Hn," same boring response.

"How old are you?"

His fist unclenched itself when he looked at me, "Twenty."

I tried to stifle my laugh for a cough. I couldn't laugh at him. No wonder…pretty sad…twenty year old virgin…straight as a shoelace…no girlfriend. That's the typical ninja for ya. That would make Shikamaru the same age as well. Age never crossed my mind that I would be two years older than Princess Uchiha!

Cough "Okay! I'm not cooking dinner so you're on your own cause I'm going out again! See you in the morning ja!"

I slapped his stomach, whoops forgot he was still healing, and ran out before he could get a hold of my arm.

---

"So where we going Pachin?"

We were on his bicycle and it was then the memories started coming back again.

_-"That rat ass bastard! Wait till I get my hands on him!" I shook my fist…"Are you looking for a sleazy looking gambler too?" I looked up to see a tall man in a suit. Green fuzzy hair, loose tie, and a scowl on his face. He was handsome. "Yeah Zettaishi, the fool that was supposed to give me my winnings!" "Me too," he looked around lazily and spotted him. He grabbed my arm and started running, "Hey!" "Oh shit," Zettaishi couldn't get past the crowd fast enough and received a kick in the head from fuzzyman. I watched him pick up the skinny little worm by the collar. He looked amazing, I was so fascinated by this guy, talking to Zetta and making him quiver with fear. This was my type of guy. "H-h-hey let me go and I'll give you her share," of course, I heard this and before I could do anything Fuzzyman knocked him out.-_

_-"Thanks I think I could've handled him," I counted the extra money we had stolen and gave him half. He rolled it up and slipped it inside his coat pocket, "No, just needed to relieve my stress on someone…" he gave me a look…-_

_-"Mitsugi Pachin…you spell it almost like 'pachinko'?" he chuckled as if I said something funny. "Yeah, at least I'm different than Usagi." "Hey the name may be innocent but this woman here is all action packed." "Action huh?" he tapped his finger…-_

"We're here," and he waited for me to get off the bike first.

His house, a small one story house, three rooms plus living room, kitchen, closet, and two bathrooms. Great times in this place. A few bad things but the good times overweighed it.

"Was it the slaves?"

"The first one didn't bother me probably because there was no sex involved. That and my brother."

Mitsugi Anazi, Pachin's hot younger brother, hotness runs in their family. I even considered asking their bisexual sister, Amaya, out. Talk about lesbian moment. I caught Pachin cheating on me. We thought about a threesome but the other chick wanted to try him out before anything happened that included me. We fought, I ran into his little brother, Anazi didn't care that we were married. And well, it was revenge, or payback sex I suppose. That's when everything started going downhill.

We said our sorry's and instead of being an abusive husband that I thought he would turn into, he started training me, wouldn't let me eat, but training nonetheless.

Four years of marriage and now he wants to call it quits.

"I asked if it bothered you and you said no. And I showed you how I would teach them and you said it was okay as long as we had our clothes on. I guess you were too busy becoming Number One Boxer to pay attention to what I said," I crossed.

"What can I say now but I'm sorry this isn't working out. We both fallen out of this marriage," he offered me a cig from his lips.

I shook my head and he blew the smoke in my face. Will I ever forget about him? Or the way the smoke dances around him. No I won't.

"You're still gonna be my coach right?" I tried to lighten up.

"You're still gonna box right?" he retorted.

We both smiled and he handed me the papers. I took it and the pen.

"I can still sleepover right?"

Pachin chuckled; I'll miss that too, "You should really get an apartment you obviously have the money."

"You're right I do. But why should I when good friends will let me stay at their place? I'm a great houseguest," I'm not ashamed that I don't have a place of my own, "Was that a yes?" I signed the dotted lines under his name.

"Yeah. Now that that's done…Should we try make up sex?" he grinned.

I crossed my arms, "Damn you, I'm not in the mood. Can I get a hug instead?"

"Why, you gonna elope with that new slave of yours?" he lit another cig.

"What! Of course not! He's too young for me. You jealous?"

"Nope. Just see you lowering your standards for chumps," he laughed and walked off.

Why that little…! JUMP-KICK! He fell on the couch, damn, he was supposed to smash his head on the pointy side of the coffee table. Oh well, Murder Attempt#37 failed.

Uh oh, his eyes were starting to grow red with anger.

"Well, Pachin. You can give the papers to the lawyers then. I guess I should be heading back to Uchiha's place. Back to training, till the weight examinations. Later," I ran out of the house.

-doku-doku-doku-doku-

Ran all the way to Uchiha, I'm sure I lost some weight; I checked the automatic scale Uchiha had dusted into the corner. Clothes all off, except the underwear and bra Uchiha would have a nosebleed if he walked in, and stepped onto the scale.

…eh…hmm…I threw the scale at the closed bathroom door. That felt good but not good enough. Friggin, freaking, one forty. ONE. FORTY. Pounds. Now I gotta lose FIVE pounds, what a shitty week.

Let's check again. Crouching looking very closely …"Damn you!" I flipped the scale over.

Sigh, I feel sick and hungry. I walked out of the bathroom, Uchiha silently waiting outside. No time for him, must find food but before that must put on some new clothes.

Okay. Got some clothes on, now for food, people were staring, I lazily looked around. Just the regular, fan girls and Uchiha to my side, dunno why he tagged along. Starving puppy wants some scraps. I looked down at myself, Uchiha's clothes again? I really need to give this back.

Food. I was in the mood for miso soup. Couldn't find no open stores. What's up with Konoha, was there a holiday I forgot? Uchiha was still with me; seriously doesn't he have any people to kill? Empty stomach gets me irritated.

Oh well, we went back home and made some hot chocolate.

"Since you're just standing there watching me Uchiha, have some hot coco," I put one in his hands and grabbed my own.

"Now what do you want Uchiha?" he sat down beside me on the roof, "It's past your bedtime."

"And you should be out training somewhere," he was just like Pachin except more stupider.

I shrugged, "Don't care."

"Shika…What'd you see in him?"

"'Why?' One day I saw him playing Go with some old person. He won and the old fart gave him money. I needed some money and decided to try my luck even though I played Go only two times in my life and sucked at it.

Somehow I beat him. Next time we met he challenged me. I got into another fight with Pachin and had no place to stay. You know where this ends. I said I would only play with him if I could stay at his place. And that's how our relationship started. We mostly watched the clouds."

Back to your question. He had that 'sway'."

Sasuke didn't know what sway was.

"I like swaying guys. Like your sensei, he looks pretty sway enough. I might consider asking him out," she rubbed her chin.

"Don't."

"Why?"

"He's a perv."

"Looks like he could keep my mind occupied though."

"I'm sure," he rolled his eyes.

I took a glance at him. Smug. I put my cup down and took him in my arms.

"Oh. Is my poor little princess jealous of his sexy sensei?"

He muttered a 'no.' and released him. We were quiet again.

"And…your coach?" he's full of questions tonight.

"Pachin still needs to get his ass kicked," I coldly chuckled.

Sasuke set his coco in his other hand and put his hand on mine! I think I put too much alcohol in his drink.

Sighed, "He was the best husband any wife could have. Good looking, he didn't hit me, smart, good topic starter, basically a settled man without a ring on his finger.

He was the underground's best fighter. We met at a free for all, Pachin was betting on the same guy I had my bets on. When we came to collect the winnings, the guy who was doing the betting was going to run off with our money. Pachin caught him and when he handed me my share, I think that's when I started to fall in love with him."

His hand clutched tighter. His hands are warm.

"I still can't remember why we divorced but I still love him," it's terrible to say it out loud.

The moonlit sky had no clouds about. Totally empty but the stars and moon.

"He killed my whole clan."

I waited for him to continue.

"And one of these days I'm gonna kill him."

"You sure that's possible?" I don't know who he's talking about.

"I know for sure. I'm an avenger." Avenger he says.

"And what was his reason for killing your family?"

"My _brother_ wanted to see what his limit was. The cold hearted bastard," he finally cusses. Yay.

"And you think you can beat him?"

"I'm sure."

"I think you're being ridiculous now."

"What?"

"What makes you think that you can beat someone that puts his family last? Huh? If he fought you right now I'd bet you'd lose."

"No, I'm stronger now. I just have to find him," Sasuke still was denying.

"You won't stand a chance with your attitude," I took out a flask from my pocket and poured the whiskey into my cup.

He stared at me, "With my attitude, the battle will end quicker."

"Yeah right. Your attitude's gonna put you six feet under. Unless you have that one important factor, you're not gonna last 30 minutes."

(And we all know except Sasuke what that factor is. Love. Letting other people inside your heart all that happy goodness that's what I think the factor is.)

"And you're not gonna last a night on top of my roof."

What does he mean by that? But it got me pissed. And the conversation was getting good too.

"I could but then what's the point of having a room in _your_ house?"

The moonlight night showed Uchiha getting angrier by the way his eyebrow was becoming more slanted.

"Hmph whatever."

"Damn it Sasuke! Stop being such a angsty little bitch!" I shouted.

Sasuke shocked, "What. Did you say?"

"You heard me. You prissy. Little. Bitch," I smirked because it was true.

Sasuke gripped my hand tighter. I stared back at him.

"You know what?"

His eyes slanted, "What?"

"I don't have time for this. I need to train," I tried to tug away.

Glaring at him, "What are you gonna do? Kick me out?"

Suddenly he was on me! I felt my drink fall off the roof, darn that whiskey was expensive too, I tried to push him off. He grabbed my hands, argh! Times I wish I was a ninja. Let's see, I could bite his tongue off but I don't want to taste his blood or accept the kissing lessons. Tough decision I accepted and turned before his hands started moving somewhere else.

"Are you done?"

He got off me and nonchalantly walked off. He left his drink too. Lazyass. I finished his cup. I touched my lips, they were tingling, and swelling up. Weird I really need to eat something, stomachs howling like a banshee.

After eating I'll go take a nap and then start training. Five pounds oh boy.

* * *

i found this kinda dull i need more ideas. Till next chapter. Ja 


	9. Chapter 9

Testings is done and over with. Failed the chemistry part but I picked the smartest looking answers. hehe

* * *

Something was off about Usagi the next day Sasuke noticed. Physically, she looked healthy as Kaka-sensei. Emotionally, all he knew was that something was bugging her than the usual as he stalked her around his place.

He didn't know why he was stalking; he should be training right about now. He still didn't know why he kissed her or why he told her of Itachi the bastard. He heard her sigh for the thirteenth time this morning watering the blossoming flowers; he finally decided to see what's wrong with her.

"Usagi."

"Hn?" she slowly looked back at him.

He thought she looked cute standing there holding the hose and wearing another sundress. She was matching today, green hair, green eyes, green dress, probably even green pan-

"What do you want? I'm kind of busy," she interrupted his nice thought.

Oh yeah, "Something happen last night?"

"Oh I guess. As you can see now," she held up her left hand for him to see, "I'm officially single again," Sasuke finally noticed the tanned line of a missing ring on her ring finger.

She quirked an eyebrow and was immediately digging his ribs, "So this gives you another guilt-free reason to touch me. Aren't you lucky?" she lightly grinned.

There was a tint of pink to Sasuke's face. He looked down and then back up, I believe to gather up some courage, and gently touched her hips and pulled her closer to him.

'That's some first move,' Usagi thought and stepped closer to him.

She laid her head on his shoulder and slipped her hand to play with the back of his hair.. Sasuke found her perfect in height beside him, another nice feeling; he again very lightly tipped her chin up to sweetly kiss her lips.

Another sweet moment interrupted by a faint knocking. Sasuke's brow twitched and deepened the kiss. Just try to will it away Sasuke, will it away…The knocking continued and Usagi pushed him away to run into the house to answer the door.

Sasuke scowled. He was making good progress too! Damn whoever it was! It was Shikamaru.

"Tell Sasuke he has another mission the Hokage is forcing his team to do tonight."

"Tonight? He didn't tell me anything."

"I know, just got the news today. Its short notice, she said it was urgent that they do it as soon as possible," Shikamaru sighed, "Got to tell his other teammates. The Hokage said to pack for a day," he turned and then looked back at her.

"You're ring…you finally signed," his eyes softened.

She sadly smiled, "Pachin's not off limits anymore. I'm sure a line of women are waiting at his doorstep now."

"You're taking this better than I expected," he turned to walk off.

"And I'm surprised you're not taking advantage at my most distressing time!" she called out.

Shikamaru smirked back at her and waved.

"What did he want?" Sasuke felt her gloomy presence.

"Said you need to pack light because you're going on a mission today. Hokage's urgent orders to do it quickly as possible."

That got him to move out of his funk.

----

It's only been six hours since Sasuke went off on his urgent mission as Usagi looked up at the clock again. She was doing push ups inside the living room, it was getting windy outside and she didn't want to get wet if it started to rain.

Another knock on the door.

'Maybe Shikamaru came back to try and jump my bones,' she got up.

The knock repeated, more urgent than the last.

"I'm coming whoever you are!" she called out, "Who visits Uchiha at four in the morning?" she muttered opening the door wide open.

All she saw were black suited anbus' run past her and crowd around the couch. One of the masked ninjas turned to look at her.

"Who the hell are you guys?" she slammed the door.

None of them took off their masks.

"The Captain has been injured," she couldn't really tell which one was talking and so paid attention to whoever was bleeding on the couch.

"Did you bring him to the hospital?" she asked.

"The Captain said to bring him here."

Now it was Usagi's turn to twitch. What made him think she was going to take care of this nobody?

She put her hands on her hips, "Are you guys gonna take care of him?"

The four standing anbus looked at each other, "He also said someone would help him. You being the only one here; I'm figuring it's you he was talking about."

Oh it was just Uchiha, "Well. Get the hell out of my way. Can't help him if you're making a fort around him."

His teammates made room for her to look. Sasuke's eyebrows were knitted together with blood setting on the couch. She put her hand on his forehead.

"Looks like a fever and…are those new burns? Well," she pushed her sleeves up, "I guess I can stay up. Can't let my princess get sick can I? Nope," she said to the sick sleeping Sasuke.

She looked back up at them, "I'm guessing you're done with the mission?" they nodded, "you guys can stay here if you like. If he's injured, you guys should be too. Might as well heal your wounds here at the same time instead of wasting time going to the hospital right?"

They stood there, still thinking she guessed, "Come on! Leave your masks on if you like, just help me get this fool to his room."

They hurried to pick up one of Sasuke's limbs. Usagi merely stared at the couch.

"Damn it, blood never comes off easily," she began to take the cushions off when one of them came in.

"He's in his room, we got him out of his uniform and put him in his regulars," his mask was a demon sticking his tongue out.

"Oh yes right, I'll just go get the first aid kit," she dropped the cushion.

"We found that already," he helped.

"Okay okay. Let's go heal the wounded," her mind was clearly on the blood setting in the couch still.

-----

"Yeah his teammates dropped him off here and left it for me to take care of him," she explained to Kiba and Shika, "They're around here somewhere."

"Sasuke? Getting injured? No way," Kiba slapped his knees.

"They didn't leave? The Hokage didn't say it was going to be dangerous. Oh well," Shikamaru stood up, "I'm gonna leave right now."

"To look at more clouds?" she asked.

Kiba looked back and forth between them.

"You know me so well," sarcastically he rolled his eyes even though she was right.

"And I gotta go and get ready to pick up my date," Kiba jumped up.

"Yes leave me here to nurse five grown men. It's an honor," she sarcastically said.

"I know aren't you lucky? I would go after you too but I hate being thirds," Kiba said closing the door behind him.

------

The news soon spread as fast as Naruto could eat ramen and immediately with a shove pushed Usagi out of the Uchiha household.

"What the hell! What's wrong with you guys? I was only taking his temperature," Usagi staring at the two misguided idiots.

"Well we're here now and we can take care of him. Sakura's a nurse, remember?" Ino nagged.

"Who the hells Sakura? And why should I care about that?" Usagi glared.

"I'M Sakura. He has professional help. You can go off to wherever you came from now. Buh bye," Sakura slammed the door in front of her face.

"Who was that?" It was Sasuke's co-captain standing behind her eating a bag of chips.

The three other members of the squad stood behind him. Looks like they're healing quite well.

"The two wicked witches of the north. How rude," she crackled her knuckles.

"Now hold on. You do know they're ninjas right?"

"Yes Captain Obvious, I _did_ notice their head protectors."

"Maybe you should just chill out a little," the one in the middle said.

"A LITTLE? My shits in there. Fine if I can't get in I'll just come back for my stuff later."

The four watched her walk away.

"You think the Captain has a thing for her?" co-captain asked.

"Bet you a tattoo he does." the third one said.

"What kind of tattoo?" the first guy interested.

"How about your face getting ready to kiss an ass?" the second one grinned.

"I'm in!" they said in unison.

----

It was the second day for the injured Sasuke and Usagi appeared to have vanished.

"Tsk. What an idiot. Did I just hear Usagi's name again?" Kiba moaned, "That's the tenth time now. You lovesick fool. I mean yeah Usagi's hot, but there are other hot girls out in Konoha!"

"Talking to a sleeping man isn't going to change his mind you know that Kiba?" Shikamaru answered.

"Argh! I give up I'm going to go find Usagi right now!" he messed with his hair and poofed to a door with Usagi's Keep Out Or Die sign.

"Look Usagi's pantyhose," Kiba picked them up.

"So what?" Shikamaru just had to follow him.

"Smells good. Looks like someone's been around town in these," Kiba grinned still sniffing the stockings.

"You sniffing people's underwear looks disturbing."

"But it smells like her all right. Want to look for her? She was your girlfriend after all. We gotta look out for Sasuke. Who knows what can happen when she's not babysitting him?"

Kiba was right for once; Sasuke wasn't such a mess with Usagi around. And now, he's an invalid depressed bachelor in a coma or something.

"I think I found something," Kiba sniffed on the floor.

"I know I'm great but you guys don't have to kiss feet," Usagi looked down at them, "Anyway what are you guys doing in my room?" she walked over them.

Shikamaru wiped off the imaginary dust off his pants.

"I know Kiba-baby probably wants to see some panties. But you, Shika, already have," she tapped her chin, "What are you looking for?"

Kiba gasped, "Shikamaru! And you didn't tell me!"

"She wore silks and lace. Colors? Black, ivory, green, and blue. Any thongs? Never seen any. We were looking for you."

"I was coming to get my gloves and tape and to see if Sasuke had any decent help," she moved Kiba away from his sniffed out clue.

"He's still sleeping. Surprisingly both of them are out of the house. Sasuke's teammates helped with them getting out of the house."

"Is he in any good condition?" she pulled out the bag from under the bed.

"Nope, Sakura or Ino didn't have a chance to re-bandaged his wounds," Kiba inserted.

"Another pair of idiots, I know two negatives equal a positive but those two aren't doing anything right," Usagi shook her head.

'How come I have to do everything?' she thought.

----

Once she was done pulling the covers up to Uchiha's chin, she noticed something. There was no one else around. Where did those ditchers go? Men are so unreliable. She didn't want to leave and be responsible for him if he just up and died. So she stayed and took a nap by his bed.

…Nighttime hours already. She woke up to hear loud ear grating noises. And looked up to someone dragging _her_ out of the room.

"You stay away from Sasuke!" Sakura put her hands out.

"Why should I?" Usagi hid the package in her jacket.

"We can take care of him. And you're the one that put him into this mess in the first place!" Sakura argued.

"MY fault! Believe what you want but I was trying to help. It's not my fault someone injured him in a mission."

"A mission?" Ino.

"Yeah dumbasses, a mission. What else did you think happen to him? That I knocked him senseless?" again she noticed now she was out the house.

Usagi tsked, where the hell were those teammates of his?

"It's not my fault if you fan girls don't want to see him well," Usagi threw the ointment tube at her.

"Just go away Mitsugi," Ino caught it and closed the door behind her.

"Humph Uchiha just had to get the stupid ones stuck with him," she leaned on the wall, crossed her arms, and waited.

--

"No, I'll do it!"

"I helped him into bed!"

Sakura and Ino were fighting over who would treat Sasuke. After thirty minutes of bickering and rock paper scissors, they both decided to help each other.

Sasuke groaned awake and saw the two hovering figures over him. He scowled and turned his head.

"Sasuke-kun I'm so happy you're awake!" he couldn't tell which annoying voice it was.

"We haven't gotten to all of your injuries if it wasn't for Forehead girl complaining crying her eyes out. Seriously," oh geez it was his most irritating and persistent fan girls of them all. Ino and Sakura. What could've been worse?

Sakura glared at Ino, "I need to get more bandages. Hey Ino-pig, let's go outside for a minute," Ino hearing the challenge in her tone.

They both stood up and closed the door behind them. Sasuke heard them still arguing and I do believe a smack and a gasp here. Sasuke rolled himself off the bed and dressed himself watching out for his injured shoulder.

"I need to go back in there Sasuke might be in pain," he heard Sakura behind the door.

"You need to get the bandages. I'll go in first," Ino offered.

Again another quarrel started. He sighed and slipped out of the window.

--

She watched him jogged past her and then stopped to turn around and look at her.

"U-Uchiha. Out in the f-fucking cold and rain. In only that? You're an idiot you know that?" Usagi walked towards him.

And popped open an umbrella.

"You're soaking wet when you could've used this?" he coughed.

"Yeah I was wondering if I would get hit by lighting standing under a tree or sitting on it. Unsuccessful."

They jogged to a nearby inn.

--

"You didn't have another place to go did you?" Usagi pulled the covers over him.

She looked down at him, "I was still deciding if I could sneak in a house with two ninjas up and about. I decided to wait."

"Hn thanks."

"Just doing my job. Taking care of you is a lot of hard work so I'll make sure to give myself an extra long vacation from cleaning," she sat down beside him and handed him a bowl of soup.

The rain pitter-pattered on the roof. Silence and nothing to do in the empty room. Sasuke fell asleep to the sound of her humming a tune.

--

"Uchiha," she shook him awake, "I have to go now. It's time for my match."

Sasuke tried to get up but she pushed him back down on the bed.

"You're fever is gone but the burns on your back must still be bitchin'. You still need to rest."

"I'm going," he moved her hand away.

"No you can't go."

"Why?" he watched her dig through her gym bag.

"I really meant underground as in illegal doings Sasuke. And besides you're a good person, there are a lot of guys who would love to jump you, and underground it's all 'No Mercy' and 'Anything goes' to rookies who step in there. Immunity to the veterans and the rules apply to everyone below ranking."

"You're a good person too."

She half-heartedly laughed, "Shows how much you know about me. But if you're really interested you can listen on the radio."

He gave her a raised brow.

Usagi set it up on the desk beside him, "We broadcast it on empty frequencies so anyone on the AM side can listen. Though they always change the station every fight so let me just find it and then I'm out of here."

He couldn't really stop her, but he wanted to _see_ her fight, and it annoyed him to hell that she was starting to become important to him.

She finally found the station and threw her bag over her shoulder, "Well Uchiha wish me good luck," she kissed his forehead and left.

* * *

So I'm gonna make the next chapter fight short because I'm terrible at fighting scenes but this came out good. JA 


	10. Chapter 10

My tooth hurts; I think it's my wisdom tooth. It hurts to chew and swallow food. I should go see a dentist

* * *

Sasuke leaned over to turn up the volume on the radio once he heard the announcer, "Tonight's the fight of all time people! And you're all gonna go and bet right?" the crowd cheered.

"The champion…Ito Takada! And our challenger tonight? Yes that's right! Mitsugi Usagi, don't be fooled by her schoolgirl name! This'll be her chance to swipe Ito's champion belt."

Introductions and the anthem took thirty minutes. Usagi chewed on some gum during this.

"Ito Takada, a plainspoken chick, who just happens to love wrestling on her free time will be hard to knock her down. Weighing at a hundred thirty three pounds at the scale and five foot seven she's not going to give up her belt.

And the challenger, Mitsugi Usagi known for her cute dimpled knees and her point to bad mouth everyone down here," everyone laughed, "She's one tough cookie and is now divorced from her coach. Meaning all you guys out there are looking for someone spunky here's your chance. Ha ha! I hope you guys can get through her left hook because I think she knocked out one of the rookies right now."

Announcer number two surprised the listeners on the radio with his very soft girly voice, "About her bad mouthing, the doctor nearly gave a DQ because she was pissing him off during their examinations. He was red in the face after he finished her."

---

"Okay Mits you remembered what I told you right?" Coach Pachin tied her shoes.

"Err no… Oh! I do remember that you was going to let me eat anything I want if I won," she grinned and nodded up to the assistant.

Pachin sighed heavily staring at her, why does he still like this woman? "Takada's left knee has just gone through surgery so when you get the chance, trip her."

"Right the left. Hmm, should I have ramen first or that expensive restaurant I always wanted to try," she thought of the possibilities, "Ow! What the hell you did that for?" Usagi rubbed her cheek.

"You need to concentrate," he went to pinch the other cheek.

--

The referee took each of the players' gloves and made them touch each other. The bell signaled them to start. They shuffled around in a circle.

They punched at the same time. Usagi had the better position and skipped backward and around. Takada stumbled forward getting her footing together. They were both solid punches. Usagi shifted back.

Left jabs and the right thrust made by Usagi forced Takada to the rope already. Uppercut and right hand…

--

"Fast pace and we're only halfway through the fight!" announcer number two broke in.

There was a knock at the door. Sasuke glanced at the door and turned the volume up some more.

"Sasuke I know you're in there!" it was Kiba, his date must of ended early.

'Why doesn't he just turn the knob then?' Sasuke thought.

--

"Come on Usagi! Bounce with the jab!" her coach shouted.

Usagi had thirty-two power shots. The third, fifth, and sixth rounds went to Usagi. Takada's punches have been affecting her legs. Usagi wondered how Takada could last nine rounds with her and not look bruised up in the stomach.

Somebody ended the round with the bell. The fighters went to their corners.

"Why are you letting her get to you? Look I just heard she has 'it' in her gloves," he whispered and then wiped her forehead.

"She's numbing her hands? Damn, no wonder she's been champion for this long."

"I don't expect you to use that because you're naturally good. But if you want you can try some," he offered.

"No thanks I've been practicing on a certain someone so I might be able to last two rounds at least. Don't worry, I don't do things half-assed…Most of the time," Usagi smirked and her coach inserted the mouthpiece back into her mouth.

On the other corner…

"See she's been wobbling? She's trying to catch you on the way in. Put your fist up when you go in for the kill."

Ito nodded and tried to catch her breath.

Eighth round. Usagi couldn't take much any longer. The pounding throws from Ito were getting her backed up into a corner. But thankfully the bell signaled the end of the round. She thumped down on her stool.

"You okay, Usagi? Don't be afraid of Ito. She's only a year younger than you remember that," Coach P wiped the sweat off her face.

He put Vaseline on the cuts on her cheek and upper left brow to stop the blood from going into her eyes.

"I don't fear anything that can bleed Coach. You could've told me she was younger than me earlier you bastard," she opened her mouth.

The assistant squirted water in her mouth. Swirled it in her mouth and spitted in the bucket underneath her. The assistant wiped her mouth.

"I feel my second wind coming," Coach stuck the mouth guard back in her mouth.

"Stop talking your losing your breath," he climbed out of the ring…

Her second wind did come all because of a little age difference which made Usagi even more hyped up that she'll be beating someone younger than her.

--

"So Usagi what were you thinking when she gave you that nearly paralyzing hit?" the reporter put the microphone close to her face.

"I was thinking what I should eat for dinner," she laughed, "then I was thinking if I did win, if I should go order take out and get a doggy bag for my new pet who wanted to come along," she pushed the ice bag more to her cheek.

"You have a pet? This is new, so what's its name?"

"Uchiha. I swear now I think he can't live without me."

"I see your not cussing so much tonight is it because you won?"

Usagi shook her head, "Takada's punch in my mouth and temple gave me a headache and it hurts to fucking cuss out long sentences," she beamed.

The crowd laughed, "Okay one more question. What are you going to do after this?"

She thought for a moment, "I'm gonna order the pork ribs and take a long nap," she smiled wearily.

-- I thought I said I was gonna make this a short fight! Whatever --

"The reporter didn't notice your name come up. No worries. You can take all the jokes that'll come tomorrow. And if you want to say something back to them then you can say 'I'm pretty lucky a hot girl takes care of me and struts around in her underwear all day.' That would make me feel good if I was a guy," she wiped the barbeque sauce off her mouth.

"I'm guessing there'll be a couple of people at your house. So you should lay low for awhile."

Usagi was sitting cross-legged in front of Sasuke, eating her pork ribs, on the bed. They were still in the little inn room. She threw the plastic container and fork in the trash bag and sighed and flopped herself beside Sasuke.

"Man that was the toughest fight I've ever been in Uchiha. Good thing I won…I'm the champion," she closed her eyes and then opened them again.

"Come on Uchiha you're suppose to congratulate me. I need some praises or else I'll end up a bad person," she stared up at him.

"…If you fall asleep now, you're gonna get fat."

Usagi was surprised and turned the other way, "Fine Uchiha, be a dick. I'll become a bitter old woman one day and it's all going to be your fault because you didn't say 'Good job' to me."

Sasuke watched her, she continued to interest him, and it was amazing anyone could keep his attention nowadays. He removed a strand of hair away from her face, already asleep the bruise on her cheek making a nice purple, he never saw anyone beautiful than her.

'Could this be love?' he thought.

Of course it was. His brain just wasn't functioning so well right now. He'll think more about this later, the sun was getting ready to rise, and snuggled down next to Usagi.

--

Next Day…

Sasuke woke up next to a cold pillow. He heard a slurp of noodles and looked around. It was his squad, he was back in his room, and they were all watching him. Privacy was not an issue for them.

"The Hokage said we were to help with anything you asked for until you're all better Captain," the co-captain said.

He was back in his room again. Or it almost looked like his room.

"Whose room is this?"

"There was a crowd of reporters and women at your place so we brought you over to Captain Shikamaru's place."

Ah yes, Sasuke was wondering if anyone else found the AM station. But wait…where was Usagi? Probably cleaning his place up…and trying to defend his house. Maybe.

"Go find Usagi and bring her here now," Sasuke ordered.

----

A day later…

"Phew," she wiped the imaginary sweat with the back of her sleeve, "All done. Now all you need is a guy."

"U-Usagi-san, I d-don't know-"

"You're going to catch a ninja. Trust me, if I can find one by mistake then I'm sure you can do it with ease."

"B-b-but he's not h-here. H-h-he went on a m-m-mission," Hinata pointed her index fingers together.

"Well whoever this ninja is can be put on hold. You're going to get yourself a date right now and I'm going to help."

Hinata knew that being Usagi's sidekick has its perks but dang having to lie to the hospital, heal her wounds, AND avoid Sakura from her incessant chattering and missing eyebrows was tough work.

"No buts either I know the perfect guy," Usagi handed her the mirror.

That stopped Hinata's stuttering, "I'm…I'm."

"Yes you can be conceited once in a while," Usagi waited for her to say it.

"I'm cute," Hinata put on a small smile.

"More like hot. Come on, you know you're thinking it too," finally she thought maybe she could have an actual female friend. Too much male company turned out to be good after all.

----

"The nightingale has migrated to a new nest Captain."

"What?"

"She's being housed at the Hyuuga's sir."

The Hyuuga's. The Hyuuga's? What trouble could she be in now involving them? The Hyuuga's. Of course they couldn't retrieve her. No problem. She'll come back…Won't she?

"You may go."

* * *

Ah, all done. Finally got the chance to load this on ff net before the internet turned off again. 


	11. Chapter 11

Yet again it's taking months for chapters to come on. I only have one month left till schools out. then i can have my way with kaka cough

* * *

"There you are!" 

Usagi sighed and put down her binoculars. It was Kiba and Shikamaru. Again.

"How come you guys keep on following me? I guess its true that ninjas really do have no lives outside their work," she propped up her elbow on the table and put her head in her hand.

"He wants you back."

"Who does? Cause I'm kind of busy here getting that guy to back his thing up to my sidekick," she pointed across the street to Hinata and her date.

"Hinata-chan? What's she doing over there? And who's _that_?" Kiba said in disgust.

"_That_ is Hinata-chan's date Toshiya."

"You do know she likes Naruto right?" Shikamaru noted.

"Don't care. He works in the hospital, the children's ward. So that's major brownie points on Hinata's list. I'm very proud I found him looking so heartbroken last week."

"Proud of the guy you _picked_? Last _week_? _Heartbroken_? Usagi what'd you do to this innocent?"

"Nothing I swear. He was down on his luck. Actually he couldn't pay for his groceries so I helped him out. His debt is repaid by going out with Hinata. Can you see the glow in her cheeks?"

"Stop changing the subject. Sasuke's in love with you." He didn't know how many times he was going to say that.

She crossed her arms and legs, "Isn't that Fan-fucking-tastic," she said sarcastically.

"Come on Usagi, he really is in love with you."

"No he's not."

"Seriously he does. I wrote a list on how we could tell," Shika handed her the filled up paper.

Usagi was impressed, front and back, "Shika you're getting too many details from Uchiha. Are you sure you're not gay?"

"The list definitely proves Sasuke's in love with you," Kiba said, not taking his eyes off Hinata's date. Memorize his face Kiba and he better hope not to cross your path between Hinata and you in a dark alley.

"Let me just kick up my knees and shout Hooray," Usagi threw her hands up, "So what. Who cares about Uchiha? I'm not gonna start singing 'I'm in love with a ninja' you know."

Kiba didn't notice the sarcasm, "At least stay with him then. Who knows what could happen with a heartbroken Uchiha? Suicide, murder, hell he might join Orochimaru again! Or never have sex again! Oh my god!" Kiba could think about this all day and grabbed her arm.

"Shikamaru what do you have to say about this?" Usagi quirked a brow at him.

"He's a fool in love that's all I can say about this. Sasuke's been staying at my place for a week already and he's a terrible roommate."

"You really want me to go back?" she knew Shikamaru liked order and no mess.

"For Shikamaru's sake yes Usagi! Uchiha's ruining our lives, how can he score any chicks with him in the house?" Kiba asked.

"What's in it for me?"

"What do you want, Shikamaru will get you anything!" Kiba pleaded.

"Stop putting words in my mouth Kiba," Shika stared at him.

"Anything?" Usagi's smile grew evilly.

Kiba nodded and gasped and growled, "Did that guy just look down Hinata's shirt?" he stood up from the table.

Usagi yanked his jacket and him back on his seat, "Can you not see she's melting the butter on his bread?"

Kiba slow to understand conundrums took it the wrong way, "Wha-? Melting his butter! I don't see no bread on their table," he snatched the goggles.

'Isn't he Captain Obvious?' she thought.

"I'll go back home," their faces were the face of accomplishment, "to see if it really is true."

Kiba and Shikamaru glanced at each other.

"…Right after Hinata finishes her date."

Kiba growled almost forgetting about Toshiya.

----

Usagi managed to distract Kiba long enough for Hinata and her date to run off somewhere.

Kiba gasped and looked around, "Where'd they go?" it was fortunate for Usagi that Akamaru wasn't with him now.

"They mentioned they were going to get some ice cream," Usagi pointed in the opposite direction.

Shikamaru and Usagi watched him dash off into the distance.

Shikamaru sighed, "I wonder if he knew that they were just in one right now."

"You should really get some smarter friends Shika. Let's go, I wanna know where they go next," she tugged him off.

--

"Usagi-chan! I..I…" Hinata had a bright smile on her face and also a blush when she held up a piece of paper. It had numbers!

Usagi hugged her, "You're awesome. Great job Hinata! I think you might have to call him later on to thank him for the date."

Hinata nodded, "I n-noticed Kiba-kun and Shikamaru with you."

Usagi waved her hand, "They were just saying something about Uchiha's undying love for me that's all."

"M-maybe he does," Hinata just loves to be useful.

"I know it isn't love. I checked."

"Did you really check?"

His squad appeared again crouching.

"Captain, the nightingale has returned to the nest."

The squad watched his eyes light up for a moment before steeling itself up again.

"Good. You can relieve yourself now."

"Captain if I may suggest, you should catch her before she flies away again," he dropped his head lower.

Sasuke glared at the mouse-masked anbu. They poofed out of there. He felt Shikamaru's presence at the door and turned to look at him.

"You should take his advice. You're beginning to be more troublesome than her. Suck it up and go do it."

----

Sasuke walked slowly home. The usual fan girls were hanging all over him. But he didn't really care to shoo them away because he needed to think. And he certainly couldn't when Usagi was around.

She was something to Sasuke now. When he felt her kiss him goodbye and walk out of the inn room, he wanted to say something, anything to make her stay. And he hated himself for not doing so and then hating himself some more because he thought of it.

He was confused, angry, happy, frantic, and calm all at the same time. Feeling like this, it must be some kind of sign because he's getting all nervous all of sudden. Increased heartbeat, labored breathing, butterflies in the stomach. Sasuke walked faster just in case he was getting sick again.

* * *

Yes I did get Toshiya from Dir En Grey. 


	12. the good part heehee

UPDATED: Uh oh, getting close to the end. that's good. i got a sudden inspiration from xmen 3 for naruto. maybe i'll work on that...maybe. i dunno.

* * *

'Finally the misguided fool comes,' Usagi jumped from her spot and waved her arms frantically…she almost fell off the roof.

She crouched back down to control her heartbeat from that near death experience.

"Come on Usagi! People don't commit suicides off a twenty foot tall roof and I especially hope the idiot didn't see that," she muttered to herself.

"Hey Sasuke!"

He looked up and saw her on top of the roof. She blushed and held her cheeks.

"I love you," she called out.

His mouth was slightly hanging open. She made a heart with her arms touching the top of her head and leapt from the roof. Landed on her feet and hugged him. She looked up at him not in love but in shock.

"You…you," she stuttered.

"Love me?" he was still stunned.

Could Uchiha still be dreaming? No he bit the inside of his mouth. The pain was there.

"Shit! You _do_ love me! Nonono. Damn damn damn. Your hearts beating fast," she panicked.

Usagi checked again and jumped back from him. She turned around, "I'm packing up my stuff and leaving," she marched inside.

Sasuke quickly followed her to her room and watched her throw things in a duffel bag.

"Why?"

"Bad things usually happen when people fall in love. Don't you read Icha Icha Paradise?" she looked up at him.

"No."

"I hoped not," she continued on.

"Who told you this?" 'I'll beat the crap out of him.'

"Your friends said so and they were right! I think its time to move back in with Pachin. He always has room for me."

He grabbed her arm and tugged her to make Usagi look at him, "You're staying." He said determinedly.

Usagi stared at him to continue on with whatever point he was trying to make.

"I'd stayed a whole week at Shikamaru's place…and…I hated it. You're not there, not around the corner, not there to wrap my wounds…" he was thinking of what else to say. Not like he could make it any more mushier.

"Just because I'm not around to clean up your ass doesn't sound like a good enough reason."

The butterflies in Sasuke's stomach quaked like hell hath no fury style. And I'm not talking about ballroom dancin' butterflies either I'm talking about breakdancing mofo flies.

Sasuke couldn't let her go now not after so many, barely two, chances to leave. He closed his eyes and gathered up all those butterflies and flushed at what he was about to say.

"I. I love you Usagi," he squinted one eye open.

She hugged him and surprisingly he returned it but didn't let go. She gave him her quick grin that shot those butterflies to dance again. At least Sasuke knew it wasn't a fever now.

"Uchiha must be loving the view right now."

He then noticed her tank top, or the no bra part, now he knew what she was talking about. "I…" he muttered along.

"All those fan girl lessons did come in handy. I guess I'll stay with you since you can't live without me and all. You're such a pussy."

He chuckled.

"Now what's so funny?"

"I kinda laugh when you cuss at me."

"It's great to see you finally have some humor in your life…asshole."

He laughed again.

----

Sasuke was glad Usagi stayed. He hugged her from behind.

"Uchiha you should be training right now," she was lying on her side.

He kissed the side of her neck, "Shouldn't I be training with you?"

"Oh yeah, about that you can't be my slave anymore."

Sasuke rested his head on her shoulder, "Why not?"

"When a slave loves their masters, truly love, they should either give them away or set them free. Some stupid rule like that."

"Then you can be my real girlfriend Usagi."

"No can do Sassy," she turned to the next page of Icha Icha Paradise, "I'm at the best part. Shinna is about to go with Tetsuo to their special 'peak'."

Sasuke blank look looked down at the book she was reading. Boring sex scene. His hand glided along side her body and rested on her hip.

"Usagi…"

Usagi sighed and shut the book closed, "Okay Sasuke I can't be your girlfriend. But I'll be your friend with benefits."

"Benefits. Sounds good," he rolled on top of her…

--

I'm terrible at sex scenes and so I shall now skip Sasuke's devirginizing moment in hookup history.

--

Yes I am terribly evil for not putting one in. If it looks like I start to get all metaphorical and analogical don't mind me. It's my first time doing a sex scene (still it's exciting! -nn- trying _trying_ to write one) go easy on me. Haha don't.

--

"Whoa look at Sasuke the virgin. Living large and in charge," she grinned and moved the book to the side.

Sasuke put on a smirk and then put on an innocent face, "This is my first time I hope you go easy on me." (too ooc!)

Usagi rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Then hurry up Zorro. Did you forget third and fourth base I told you?"

He looked around; they were out in the open, the living room. It was only noon, anyone could just knock or simply open the door and…

"Fine," she got up off of the floor and pulled him into his bedroom and locked the door, "Afraid of being caught in the open…in your own home-"

Sasuke quickly covered her mouth and dove one hand into her soft hair. And the other under her tee. Their bodies molded perfectly together, it wasn't so chilly in the room anymore what with the body heat, and Sasuke was feeling a little too hot. He released her lips gasping and pulled her tee off. She breathing hard as well let him carry her over to the bed.

"Sasuke," she exhaled when his butterfly kisses crawled its way down to her bra. He kissed the edges and gently kissed the covered peaks. He went back up to kiss her lips. Sasuke couldn't get enough of her. Searching with his hands. Memorizing every dip and curve.

He managed to unhook her caged breasts and took one to mouth. He heard her sigh and he stopped. "Why'd you stop?" Oops, he realized it was a sigh of pleasure. He bashfully didn't look at her and eyed her shorts. He tugged it off with one finger and glanced down at her. "You might want to take your pants off for this," Usagi murmured. She grabbed his shoulder to sit herself up and unbuttoned one, his face flushed and looked up, and then unzipped. Usagi set her hands on his chest; she kissed the crook of his neck and he shivered with delight when she nibbled on his ear.

She could feel him on her stomach, he could feel her heat. Her hand lowered itself to his bulge. He tensed and got harder. Her small breasts were suddenly a handful, she slid up against him. "Sasuke," a sultry whisper. He pushed her back down and removed the final articles of clothing. He glided his finger between the valley of her breasts down to her stomach and down some more.

He watched her, Usagi bit her lip, the move all in itself, made him want to know more about her body. He slipped his hand to the side and pulled her leg up the other automatically wrapped around his hips. And with a kiss, it was too late, he was in. She felt so tight and hot. She hum, "Hmm more." Watching her face for anything, he pushed all the way in. Her smile grew and moved her hips to go on. He put his hand on her hip and pulled out and then in again. The feeling was so intense, he moved faster to feel the euphoria. Usagi's ragged breaths on his neck. Breathing each other's name out…and there was the sweetest high they could've ever came to.

--

"This was a nice afternoon delight," Usagi stared up at the ceiling.

"…"

"Uchiha?" she looked down at her chest.

He was still kissing her shoulder.

"Uchiha. You can stop with the worshipping. I get it I'm the best sex partner you ever had."

"You're the only one I'll ever have," Sasuke too exhausted to look at her lied his head back on her chest.

'I should never have made him my slave. I should of never had sex with him. I don't know how many rules I broke but he was too adorable with his angsty face. And he even found my g spot. Damn, on his first time too.'

She played with his hair in thought, 'This could mean that I could try that new position on him…' Usagi grinned.

"Since I popped your male cherry Sasuke-"

"You're saying my first name."

"Of course, we're not strangers anymore. Your cherries popped now. You should now be able to get with any girl you want."

"Hmm I don't want to."

'What a little baby.'

* * *

I think one or two more chapters will be the ending for this story. uh oh. better make it a big impact then. haha. ja. 


	13. Chapter 13

Man that last chapter that was some very very _very_ soft fluff right there. That was like poetic in the r version. How come I make Naruto show up at the last minute? oh well who cares about that dobe anyways.

* * *

Usagi answered the door and eyed the boy with the yellow hair.

"Who are you?"

Naruto missed the question and gazed at her face, "Why you're paler than Hinata-chan! Are you a vampire or something?" Naruto joked.

"If I was, I would be out hunting for blood right now."

"S'pose you're right unless you're feeding on Sasuke," he grinned, "Anyway Sasuke here? I gotta tell that bastard something."

"Yeah, the prick is in the kitchen," Usagi grinned back.

Into the Kitchen we go.

"Hey I remember you now. Sasuke picked you up that night."

(I gave Naruto the power to remember things) They both perked up.

"What…did you say Naruto?" Sasuke held him by his collar.

"Yeah that's right. Sasuke actually picked up a chick," smiled that he knew something Sasuke didn't.

Usagi had a blank expression on her face, 'He picked _me_ up?' still shocked.

"Then you came back to us and said you was leaving. You used the condom I slipped you?" Naruto grinned.

'Damn you Sasuke! Always getting the hot girl first!' he thought to himself but then again he was starting to look at Hinata's way now.

'Sounds like it could happen if he got drunk enough,' Usagi reasoned.

"That was _your_ condom?" looked like Sasuke was cracking.

"I didn't know you was gonna get laid first that night so I slipped it in your jacket just in case she asked for one. Why, you didn't use it?" Naruto looked at Usagi.

Hee hee he slipped the condom in his pocket. You're so evil Naruto!

"Did anything else happen?" Sasuke fumed.

"Hmm," a stupid thinking look on Naruto's face, "Kakashi left after you guys. He was alone."

Usagi and Sasuke both looked at each other and nodded. Sasuke threw Naruto out, grabbed Usagi's hand, and fazed to Kakashi's house. He banged on the door.

"Ittai," Naruto rubbed his butt. "That wasn't a good welcome home saying."

"I'm not interested whatever you're selling," Kakashi called out from behind the door.

"Sensei!"

The door slowly opened a crack and Kakashi looked at him.

"Sasuke. I'm busy come back when you don't look so mad," he began closing the door.

Usagi shoved the door back open and forced her way in.

"Kakashi I know you're hot and all. But I wanna know if you had a threesome with us…" she stopped and looked at him, "Interrupting?"

He was only wrapped in a blanket. Mask still on.

"Threesome? With my former student? I know more ways to excite my partner than with another person in bed. No, I did not join you guys. Though I did follow you two drunks to his house."

"Did we have sex?" Usagi asked.

"Let me think…" Kakashi was taking his sweet ol' time. But it's difficult answering them. If he says yes, then they'll brand him a real pervert who watches people have sex. And if he says no, then the mystery will still continue.

"Well I saw Usagi trying to take something out of your pocket. You blocked her attacks. Pinned her to the wall. Someone kissed someone. Clothes fall off and ended up on the bed somehow. But you guys fell asleep before doing anything. The condom was lying on the floor and so I just filled it with lotion and threw it in your bed. It's sad that you didn't get any action. Unless you guys woke up later to do that. I knew I should've stolen her away from you," Kakashi combed his hair.

"Now can you leave? Unless Usagi wants to stay then you can close the door on your way off," he entered his room.

"So we didn't have sex then. Okay. But now…" Usagi started off.

"What?"

"I wonder if I should stay," she smiled, "I mean he's hotter than you and if you say he's a perv then he must know some interesting-"

Sasuke dragged her off.

"Hey I was only thinking of my options!" she closed the door behind them.

----

"Today's clouds are the best," Shikamaru stared at the billowy clouds passing over him.

"I like the clouds right before it rains."

"You too?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Shut up ex slave, you're ruining the moment."

Shikamaru sat up, "Slave? You told me you wasn't," he stared at Sasuke.

"It's not what I expected."

Usagi grinned, "Oh you mean you _wanted_ the typical master? The ones that crack their whips and say 'Bend over and take it like a bitch.' You hear that Shikamaru he actually thought the worst of me!" she and Shika laughed.

Sasuke looked away and snorted.

----

Usagi's POV

I've been getting queasy in the stomach a lot lately. It wasn't diarrhea, I checked. I haven't visited Pachin for a week either. Maybe he knows what's wrong with me, he did tell me he was once a doctor.

Knock de na knock knock.

I waited for thirteen seconds before I hear a stumble, a stomach growling, and a few curses. That was my Pachin. I checked my hair. It was in place and bouncy, all right I'm cute to go.

He opened the door and was slouching. You could tell that he had a few drinks last night. Pachin straightened once he eyed me.

"Usagi. What a pleasant surprise. I just woke up," he opened the door wider and pulled the blankets wrapped around his waist higher.

I grinned and stepped inside. It was already three in the afternoon. Again, that's my Pachin.

"I'll make some breakfast for you then."

"Mm thanks," he yawned and dragged himself to get some pants.

He was back to his old bachelor self. He had nothing in his refrigerator but bottles upon bottles of beer and nothing in his cabinet but an empty box of Coco puffs and one cup of instant ramen. Looks like he can't live without me either. What am I to do with the babies I created?

"I see you're still sleeping in the nude," I pushed the ramen and hot water towards him on the table.

"I'm completely comfortable with myself clothed or naked. You should try it some time," he sighed, "I need some protein."

"Well if you just shopped once in a while then you wouldn't have to complain."

Pachin digged around the bottom of his cup for some shriveled up beef, "Tell me again why we divorced? I really miss your cooking," he looked up at me and gave me a…was that a reminiscing smile?

I shrugged my shoulders, "You were the one who wanted this."

"Right MY fault. Anyways what do you want? I thought I sended your check already."

I waved my hand, "No I don't need anymore money. I just want a checkup."

Pachin's eyes perked up, "The last time you wanted a checkup you broke your hand in five places."

"Well I feel weird vibes lately. I can't stay up late as I used to because I'm tired when I barely did anything."

"Go to the room then. I'm just gonna finish this up first," he held up his cup of noodles.

Pachin was a doctor on the side of coaching. For those who couldn't pay the hospital came to him. See? He's a good guy at heart. He did the regular doctor things. Hit my knee with that triangular hammer, checked my heartbeat, Popsicle stick on the tongue, shine a bright light on my eye. The basic feel you up procedure.

"As far as I can see, you look healthy to kick my ass. But stand up for a minute."

I got off the table and stood there. He crouched in front of me and encircled my ankles and looked at his own hands; clenching and unclenching. Pachin then put both hands on my hips. His frown deepened.

"Uh Pachin? S-something wrong?" was something seriously wrong with me? Maybe it's breast cancer.

He stood up, "You're ankles are swelling up. Hips slightly plushier. Have you been eating junk food? ...No not junk food," he was more talking to himself than to me.

"Give me a hug," he opened his arms.

"What?" This is not the right time to hug right now.

"Hurry up."

I walked into his arms. He gave me a bear hug.

"There it is," he said and let go.

"What?"

"Your breasts are larger. Stomach slightly bulging. Weight gain. You're pregnant," his face got darker, "Who's the fucker?"

I looked down at myself and felt myself… … …So that's why my bras been fitting so snug lately and why I couldn't lose weight. But pregnant? I hadn't had sex since…ever. Maybe…

"Pregnant!"

I fainted.

--

I jolted awake. Pachin set a wet towel on my forehead.

"You think you were already pregnant during the fight?"

"It would explain why I nearly made the weight during the examinations and why I got tired so early on in the fight," I closed my eyes again.

Pachin nodded.

"The fight was a month ago. Did you have any accidents when you went out stealing drunken men's wallets again?"

"I haven't been going to the bars _since_ last month. Ever since I moved into Uchiha's, I've been pretty distracted."

"So you did it with him?"

"Well yeah but that was a week ago."

"Anybody else?"

I've only been in Uchiha's bed twice before we did it. Maybe…the first time we met…

I clenched my fists, "That bastard."

I ran to jump in my shoes and tell him a thing or two with my fists.

"Usagi!" forget Pachin; my fury won't be settled until I have my hands on that boy.

--

"Uchiha!" I huffed out.

I found him training and stopped right in front of him. He smiled. This was the boy that's going to ruin my life?

"Usagi! Damn you can still run!" Pachin stopped to catch his breath.

"What are you doing here?" Uchiha was still holding a grudge for him letting me go.

"God damn you!" Pachin held me back.

"Usagi get a hold of yourself!"

His eyes widened and looked at the both of us, "What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant you jackass," I stopped struggling against the immoveable Pachin.

The heat in my face, my eyes hurt, I didn't want kids. Well I do but not with him. Damn it, I covered up my face I was crying.

"Pregnant. For how long?" I heard Uchiha ask.

"Probably about a month now," Pachin answered.

That means I have eight months left. No way.

--

Later on.

There was Sasuke, sitting all by himself, must be thinking. I know I couldn't let him have all the blame to himself though.

"Sorry for lashing out, got caught up in the moment, I was still bugging on the idea," she patted his leg.

Those eyes looked up at me, "Do you want to have the baby?"

"Wow. When did he do that to you?" his left cheek was swelling purple.

"Hn."

I went in the kitchen to get some ice in a bag. I looked outside the window. Do I want to have a baby? I do but I'm only twenty-two. But I'm certainly not going to abort or give away the baby.

Would I be a good mother? I have the homemaker thing down, without a doubt I could take care of him myself, I always wanted to have a boy, family memories would have to be revised and then the celebrations. He was standing next to me now I looked up at him, Uchiha certainly would act like a father.

"Sasuke. I'm only going to say this once so listen up. I do want to have the baby but I don't want to have a kid without a father. I don't know if you'll be there to help when I need it. You look like good father material to me," I put the bag up to his cheek.

He held my hand, "If you picked Pachin, I would've been angry."

"If I did, he would have been mad."

He pulled me in for a hug. There was something on the back of his neck I hadn't noticed. I moved some hair. It was a tattoo. Cool.

"That's why he's going to be the godfather of course."

"Marry me."

Now that was out of the blue. I let him go.

"What did you say?" this day was full of surprises.

"Will you marry me?"

"Just because we're having a kid doesn't mean we have to get married."

"I love you Usagi. That's not going to change."

No no no. He was an Uchiha; it was only proper for him to ask me to marry him.

The bird sitting on the windowsill was very fascinating, "Don't ask me that I love Pachin."

"No you don't," he stepped towards me.

I took a step back, this didn't look good, and he was a ninja too.

"Yes I do."

Another step, "You don't love him anymore or else you wouldn't have signed to be divorced. You would've tried to work it out if you did," he was getting closer.

"I w-was letting him go," my back was to the counter now.

"Because you didn't love him anymore," I couldn't stop looking at his eyes, "you love me," he said quietly.

We stood there trapping me in his gaze. Silently he crushed his lips on mine and snaked his kisses. "Admit it." My arms wrapped around him I thought about it. He gave me the quivers, the heated touches, the feeling of being safe near him. He looked at me and wiped away my tears, "I'm sorry. I just don't want to go through the whole thing." He rested his forehead on mine, "Hit me, cuss at me, just don't say I'm sorry again." "Sasuke," I smiled.

* * *

I need a name. I'm running out of names. 


	14. The Final nooo yessss my precious

I did not know I could write that cute. It's a scary thing to see. Too fluffy! FLUFFY! My eyes! Ooh there's Sesshomaru… Though to those that got just a little confused, they actually did wake up and did it when Kakashi left.

* * *

Usagi rubbed her eyes, "What the hell was that for?"

Pachin set the camera down, "You look good pregnant," he grinned.

"You should know by now I always look good," I slipped my shoes off.

"Master?"

Master? No it can't be. "Xiah?" I called out. His cute face popped out of the living room door. "Xiah!" be both ran to each other.

I punched him in the gut and watched him go down on his knees, "Didn't I tell you to stop calling me Master?" even though I still had control over him.

He smiled up at me still holding his stomach, "You'll always be my seme Usagi."

"Anyways where's your wife?"

"She's getting the diapers."

What did I hear just now? 'She's _getting'_? I glared at him.

"Xiah. Did you forget what I taught you already? Was my teachings _that_ easy to forget?"

He knew better than that, his face was clear on that, he scrambled up and ran out.

"Gosh," I crossed my arms in frustration. My dress flushed up, "Did you see something just now?"

"Yep. It's the love of their lives," Pachin went to throw his cig away in the kitchen.

Xiah and his wife came in, he had all the bags, and she was carrying a wrapped up watermelon. Or it looked like one from my point of view.

"Xi-kun it's so great that we'll have some time alone now. I hope they're good with kids."

"Don't worry Kimiko she knows how to do everything," hazelnut hair, twenty seven year old, ex-slave Xiah said carrying everything.

Wait a minute, 'she'? 'Kids'?

"Xiah what's this about?" I sat down my ankles are killing me.

"Xiah you didn't ask her?"

Xiah was shifty eyed, "Pachin?"

"Your on your own Xi."

He looked at his wife, she nodded, what? What was that nod for? Something was definitely up.

"Usagi. Would you like to hold the baby? Wow, you're pregnant already? I couldn't even tell from the wedding," Kimiko handed me the watermelon that was a baby.

Green hair, cherry cheeks, and the watermelon blanket. No wonder I couldn't tell.

"What a cute baby what's her name?" she handed me the bottle.

"_His_ name's Hyesung. I couldn't even tell he was a boy too until the doctors told me," Xiah set down the bags.

"Well with both of your good looks I'm sure he'll be a heartbreaker," it was a baby bag, and two kid sized rolling suitcases.

"Thanks. When you find out if you have a girl or a boy be sure to tell me so we can pick out a good name. Yes?" Kimiko set her purse on her shoulder and pushed her hair back.

"Can do."

"Usagi?" they were both standing outside the living room now. "Make sure our Sungie has lots of fresh air and Jin gets plenty of exercise. We gotta go now! Bye Sungie! Bye Jin!" as soon as I'd blink they were gone.

I was slightly shocked by this, Kimiko how could she? Xiah's bad traits must have rubbed on her. I shifted Hyesung in my arms so his arms were free to hold the bottle. I looked at the crying boy in front of me.

"You Jin?" He nodded and sniffled. "Can you be a big boy right now and find that guy with green puffy hair?"

He sucked up his tears and ran off. Everything gets dumped on me these days.

"So little Hyesungie, how does it feel to be left out of the trip?" he sneezed, giggled, and then did a little spit bubble. I sat him up and patted his back. He hic'ed, hic'ed, and spittled milk on the towel on my arm.

"I guess you can call this Having a Baby 101," Pachin came waltzing in with Jin under his arm.

"So they left their kids with us. Where did they go?" I did not know Xiah was working it and had two kids already.

"Not 'us' you. They went on a free hot spring inn they won from a lotto."

"He didn't even ask and why me? You have nothing to do why don't you take care of them?"

"Underground veterans are having a meeting. I'm there to stop the fights before they begin. You know how long that'll take."

Oh right, he also makes a good referee between vets. They do tend to cause the most damage under there.

"How long will Xiah and Kimiko be gone?"

"Just three days. Boy did they just dumped them on you."

"I didn't even see it coming. Help me Pachin. I need to go home."

"Wait there for a sec," he flashed that damn camera again! "You look good with kids too! You look good with anything!" he laughed.

"Okay. Can you help me up now?"

"Sure thing," he grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

--

"Thanks Pachin," I kissed his cheek.

"Ooooh!" it was Jin he held up his hands and pouted, "Kiss."

"Pachin pick him up for me."

I kissed his forehead, "Happy?" he nodded vigorously and opened the door.

"Call me if you they don't start looking good with you." He waved me off.

"Usagi," I have so many men in my life. I turned around and found Sasuke with Jin wrapped around his leg.

"Yes Sasuke?" I walked past him and into the kitchen.

"Stop kissing other men. I hope they're not yours," he must've noticed their luggage.

"I can't help myself to cute boys. I'm babysitting for Xiah and Kimiko you remember them don't you from the wedding? Xiah first slave Kimiko my bridesmaid?" I looked inside the bag for Hyesung. Tons of diapers, wipes, formula, and bottles of milk. Must be Kimiko's breast milk.

"Yeah," Sasuke moved Jin to swing on his arm.

"Jin why don't you go play with Uncle Sasuke while I change Sungie, yes?"

"Can't he stay and watch?"

"I think everyone would like to see you change a baby."

He and Jin left.

"Hyesung you know what I should make for Jin? I should make him some macaroni and cheese. And I feel like a peanut butter and jelly and baloney sandwich," I laughed.

--

I am plum tuckered out and sat outside under a tree watching Sasuke give Jin some exercise in swinging a bamboo stick. Sungie cooed and flapped his arms in my lap.

"Are you bored Hyesung? Watch your big brother if you don't he'll become like Sasuke," I yawned and closed my eyes.

…I opened my eyes to see Sasuke carrying me.

"Anything happen while I fell asleep?" I yawned.

He kept walking on, "They're both sleeping."

"That's good…How'd you make them go to sleep?" he had better not slip them any sleeping pills.

"Easy. I threw Jin in bed and the other-"

He caught my hand, damn ninjas, and looked down at me, "You better had not thrown little Sungie either."

The smart-ass bastard finally smirked down at me, "He fell asleep so I didn't have to slip him any pills."

"You do know that milk also works too don't you?"

In the middle of the night, I heard Hyesung crying. I moved Sasuke's arm off of me and sat up. That took a lot of energy just to sit up, stand up, and open the door. Now I was fully awake I strolled over next door and pushed the door open. Hyesung, big baby, crying with his blanket off and turned the other way. I picked him up as well as the blanket and went to the kitchen.

I checked his diapers, no poop or pee good, "You must be hungry Sungie," I whispered and yawned. Either that or want some female attention.

There was a pot already on the stove with water in it. I turned it on, set a full bottle and waited for it to boil. Hyesung loved drinking his milk warm as all babies do. Rocking Hyesung stopped his crying. But he didn't fall asleep; he was staring at me, gripping onto my shirt.

"What? Don't look at me like that; your mom's breast milk is coming up, so stop squeezing my boobs. And besides my milk would probably run out the way you drink so much."

He patted me again and stopped. Guess that was supposed to hurt me. Water boiling, I popped out the top and squirted a few drops on my wrist. Still too hot I let it cool down a little. I heard a cough that wasn't Hyesung and turned around.

Jin rubbed his eyes with one hand and holding a blanket in the other, "Cry bab' 'gain?" he slurred on the words.

Another little boy came in, clad in only pajama pants Sasuke sat down and try to open his eyes up some more. Jin followed Sasuke and did the same.

Hmm…oh well what can a pregnant girl do? I pulled out two cups and poured some milk in it. I pushed the cups over to them.

"Drink," I ordered.

Everyone had their warm milks except me. I shuffled each one to bed. Phew what it would be like to have four little boys! I crawled under the blankets.

--

Second day to baby-sit. Jin was acting very cute and that looked very suspicious to me. Jin was standing in front of Hyesung; he was seated up against some pillows on the couch.

"What are you doing Jin?"

"Acting like Sung!" he shouted.

Ahh. I should watch this. He took off his glasses, messed up his hair, and started bending his knees.

"Bap, bap, bap," it was the cutest imitation of Sungie I laughed, "I'm so cute," he said in a high pitched voice, "I looove," he spread his arms wide put them on his hips turned around to look back and wiggled his tush, "kissies and watermelons."

I couldn't stop laughing, the baby kicked, Hyesung was 'bapping,' Jin was still wiggling his but why was Sasuke missing all the fun? Right over there, standing in the corner trying to hide himself. I waved him over to feel the kicking before it stopped.

--

The third and last day. I had Jin to myself and Sasuke had Sungie, on which I threatened him.

"Your mom said you needed exercise but don't you think you had enough?" I asked after jogging with him around the huge house the second time.

"I like to train!" he pushed up his glasses.

"Why? What do you want to be when you grow up?" thankfully he stopped running.

"Dunno! A ninja, a knight, a transformer, a bird, a chef, a strong big person like Uncle Sasuke!"

Aww isn't that cute. It's a good thing Sasuke wasn't around or his ego would be huge by now. But this gives me a great idea.

"Well I can't say Sasuke is this 'transformer' like you said but you liked what Uncle taught you the other day right?"

"Yep that was fun," he wiped the sweat off his brow.

Fun indeed. I told him to do some cartwheels and he looked confused but still interested I taught him. Jin learned quickly and in only a day, a little jealous because it took me three weeks to do just one. I made a small tightrope and made him "train." Mwahaha, he could be my new protégé.

I left Jin alone to cartwheel on the rope and went to seek out Hyesung. He would most likely be in need of saving from the incapable Sasuke. But when I walked in front of the house, it looked like Sasuke would be a good daddy instead. Hyesung was up really high and liking it too. I wonder how old your baby should be when you can throw him up in the air.

"Sasuke I hope he doesn't vomit on you when you're doing that."

Sasuke almost forgot that Hyesung can puke and caught him.

--

In the late afternoon, they finally show up.

"Xiah you're lucky your kids are cute or else I'd beat you up for that little hit and run," I crossed my arms.

He slightly laughed and set his bag down, "Hehe just not in front of Jin. He might get discouraged."

"Did my big boy Jin get buffer?" Kimiko picked him up.

"You did say to give him some exercise."

"Mommy I can do a cartwheel!"

"Thanks," Xiah shook Sasuke's hand and took Sung in his arms now.

"Come drop them off again whenever you need a break. But only before I have the baby."

"I want a boy," he said as the family walked off.

"I want one too. I forgot what the saying was but I think you could tell if it's a boy by how wide my hips are or something else. I should ask Hinata she should know."

…zip zip zip. Hinata-chan's here!

"Hinata," I held her hands, "Sasuke must know if he has a girl or not. He really wants a girl," I added.

I felt Sasuke's glare at my back that was completely overlooked. Hinata eyed him for a moment.

"Well the ultrasound at the hospital is broken at the moment. So you may have to wait a month or so to find out," Sasuke did look slightly disappointed by that, "T-though an old wives tale is usually true about predicting the gender of the baby."

"Why don't you fully explain to Uchiha here. My explanation wasn't clear enough for him."

"Girls have round bottoms and boys have a…yea."

"She means if my tummy or hips whatever are wide then I'm having a girl. If it looks more narrow or long then I'm having a boy. Wide hips for girls round butts and narrow hips for boys small tushies," I laughed at this.

"Your ex said your hips are wider," Sasuke thought out loud.

"So does that mean I have a girl?" I looked at Hinata.

"Every pregnant woman gets wider hips but yours haven't gone wider."

"So we have a boy awesome."

"Usagi I believe that is bad for the baby," Hinata pointed at something.

"What? Where?" I looked around I didn't see anything dangerous about.

"The dumbbell you're holding," Sasuke said.

I looked at it in my hand and continued pumping my arm, "What about it? I'm training."

"…As long as it isn't stressing."

"I'm not stressed this is what you call relaxing and relieving the savage beast inside," I grinned.

--

"Kimiko glad you're here. Sasuke wanted to hear the names we could call _our baby boy_!" I dragged Sasuke down on the couch.

"Okay! Xi-kun and me made a list. Yes a list, common names, cute names, unique et cetera. Then we thought ahead of ourselves and scratched out the names that can be rhymed with. We didn't want our kid to have a song. Yes I had one, 'Kimiko see me go!' It was dumb but it stuck to me till I kicked their butts," Kimiko dugged through her bad and found her notebook.

"Feel free to say hell no," she added, "Okay number one Shinsuke?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Sounds like Shino."

"And it has the 'suke' I don't like that either."

"'Kay so we can cross out Shinsuke and Shousuke. But how about Yusuke?"

"Sounds like a troublemaker."

"Susu-"

"Nothing that can be repeated," Sasuke leaned back.

Kimiko looked down at her list, "Okie okie. That crosses out thirteen thru thirty-four," she ripped out the whole page and crumbled it up.

"How about something different Kimi?"

"Sarutobi?"

"Wasn't that one of the late Hokage's name?" I thought.

"Yes yes it was, the Sandaime. Xiah thought of it and then I scratched it out because I thought kids would call him 'tubby' instead of 'tobi.'"

"Sounds too much like Naruto anyway," Sasuke answered back.

"Okay let's try something else. These have the letter 'I' at the end. Mikazuki, Hizuki, Miyuki, Yuki, Aki, Eiji, Kagami, Midori, and Akari."

"No. No. No. No. No. Maybe. Maybe. The last two are girl names so no," Sasuke was full on determined in this baby-naming thing.

"Yes that's good. We're finally getting somewhere. Usagi write down the maybes."

"Hmm? Huh!" she woke up, "Okay what were they again?"

"Eiji and Kagami."

Four hours later…

I needed a break from this naming game so I offered to go get some coffee. Sasuke of course has to be right by my side to help. We all went to Shuri-bucks, discussing the whole matter on the way there, and I got my Green Tea Frappachino. Ahh this some good shit.

It was a good thing that Kimiko had one more page of names left…we picked our favorites and now all we have to do is pick one.

"Okay Sasuke after you carefully picked off every crappy name. Pick the best one."

He stared down at the list, "I don't like Eiji or Hiroto anymore."

Right. Crossing off the list. Only four more left!

"No to Fugaku and Kagami."

"But I like Fugaku," I looked at him.

"Yeah Fugaku is so…It has a strong ring to it," Kimiko liked the name too.

"My father's name. I think not," he sipped on his strong black coffee. Quit pretending to be a tough guy Sasuke.

"You should've said it was your Dad's in the first place then."

Kimiko stretched, "Yes finally I'm done here. I need to get Jin and Xi-kun some food. Little Sungie I'm coming baby!" she jammed out of here quickly and then popped in, "If you somehow get a girl we should have an arranged marriage. Yes wouldn't that be fun?" Kimiko said.

Yes more torture to my kid's soul. After she left, Sasuke took my green tea and sucked it dry. Damn he even sucked up the whip cream. Bastard.

"Raito or Natsume?"

"Why are asking me? You want to choose the name so badly as if life depended on it. And how about if we got a girl?"

"We are having a boy," he set aside my empty plastic cup.

"It could happen," I took his cup of Joe.

"Yasumi then."

"What! You can choose a girls name in a second but it takes you seven hours to call out a boys name! I hate you."

"You love me," he continued to look at the two names.

"Fuck you Uchiha," he took my hand.

"After the baby comes out we can."

I sighed, no sex for him means he gets more touchy feely with me. I forgot to tell him there are other ways…

"Natsume," he kissed my hand.

----

"Here," Sasuke handed her a card.

Usagi was just chilling with her feet up on the table.

"What's this?" she opened the envelope. Her brow and mouth twitched, it was more like a quirk though.

"Happy Mother's Day," she looked up at him, "I don't know what's this suppose to be but I can take this either three ways. Now tell me what you're trying to say and I hope you'll pick the right one."

Sasuke shrugged putting his hands back in his pockets, "I remember Kiba once saying this and I didn't get it…now I do."

Usagi looked at the card again and opened it. The regular Hallmark saying. 'You're the best mother I know.' It couldn't get any simpler. And then there was Sasuke's handwriting, 'Why don't we do some math? You plus me, minus our clothes, divide your legs, and let's multiply…Math's fun with you. Let's do it again but I hate multiplication.'

Usagi couldn't hold in her laughter. Sasuke sat down next to her and took the card out of her hands. She wiped up a tear.

"Whoo! That was funny I loved it," she rubbed her bulging tummy, "I'm going to show it to Natsume when he gets older. I can't wait to see his face when he reads it, 'Eww I don't want to hear about my parents doing it.'" She sighed.

"Thought you'd hate it," he sunk down lower to put his head on her shoulder.

"Thought you didn't have a sense of humor. But then you wouldn't have married me," she patted his head.

(I got that math quote from KitsuneShadow on mediaminer. Copyright to that girl, I love your Yu Yu Hakusho KuramaOC fanfics! Done with the advertising now)

----

"Actually Sasuke I don't want you," her face cringed, "here."

"I'm staying."

"Stop holding my hand nothing's happenin-"

Sasuke opened his mouth, this little woman was crushing his hand, but he was not going to submit so early. She unclenched her hand. Usagi breathed out.

"You sure you want to stay? These contractions hurt like a bitch man."

Sasuke rubbed his hand, "I'm certain."

"I pictured you outside the waiting room walking back and forth smoking on your third or fourth cigarette. Where the hells that doctor? I need something to drink."

They heard a snapping of secured medical gloves on and turned to see Pachin.

"Hey Pachin," she raised her hand.

"Don't tell me…He's the doctor," Sasuke had even more reason to stay.

"Well I am a doctor. So I might as well as be THE doctor," he walked over and handed her some green tea frapp.

She looked at the green tea and then up at him, "You got a _grande_?" her angry flame was on, "I wanted a venti."

Pachin nervously laughed, "Didn't want the afterbirth crap coming out so I got the grande. Plus I didn't have enough."

"Pachin," Usagi's voice was a deadly calm, "Come closer I want you to get something for me Sasuke can't."

Pachin wanting to be in her good grace again leaned closer.

"I knew that girl at Shuri-bucks was going to cause trouble sooner or later and you let it happen on my most distressing day," she punched him in the face, "God damn it! Son of a-…I feel better now. What is Pachin doing on the floor Sasuke?" that little episode she completely forgot.

"He's drunk," he said as he dragged Pachin out of the room.

"Ugh Usagi still gots it," Pachin warily said.

"Bring the real doctor before I really get to you," Sasuke coldly said and shut the door behind him.

--

"You're having a baby today too? That's just swell. I thought I saw some guy with you. Where is he?" Usagi asked the other pregnant woman across from her.

"Oh him. He fainted the moment I was in pain. He's lying on the floor right now."

--

Usagi was shocked at how much the woman screamed. In pain. She grabbed Sasuke's hand worriedly, "Sasuke can't they just knock me out and then take the Natsume out?"

"That would be even worse, yes you can pass out, but taking him out will take longer."

She pouted, "But she took like five hours to push him out! I can't scream that long you know. And you don't want to hear me scream. Maybe you should get some duct tape. I've been here longer than her too! Does that mean mine will take longer?"

"Quit worrying and start cussing the doctor is here."

It wasn't Pachin that's for sure. At least, Hinata was there to help.

----

"Natsume! Hyesung! Stop training and come over and eat something!" Usagi called out.

She stomped past them to Sasuke.

"Uchiha…"

"Yes?"

"Didn't we agree to not train him for at least one more year?"

"We did. Jin was training him."

"Smart ass. No afternoon delight for you," she walked off.

The disappointment greatly showed up on his face. Two little boys giggled and turned around once Usagi walked in.

"Okay Uncle Sasuke is on time out so you'll have to play with me."

"Awe-" "-Some!" they said.

"If she can beat him up, then that means she's even better than him," Hyesung started.

"She can beat him good too! I took pictures!" Natsume ended.

* * *

Ahh I feel so sad and yet happy I'm finished with this fanfic! Thanks to all my loyal readers and reviewers that stayed and helped with the naming part. I'm a real troublesome author aren't I? hee hee. Onto the next fan fic! 

Usagi's thought that I never used…

'If I told Uchiha that yes he would probably be a good lay but I wouldn't be his girlfriend for real and …I mean that would ruin his complete psyche or something! But seriously…'


End file.
